Over 40 & Pregnant: Concerns & Experience

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Re: Over 40 & Pregnant: Concerns & Experience
« Reply #30 on: July 22, 2008, 10:00:23 AM » by pelican

hi Creekmom,
I'm 42 and had my sixth baby four months ago. I understand your apprehension. I chose to not have all of the extra tests. They have been known to be incorrect plus it would cause me to worry through the rest of the pregnancy and that is not good for you or baby.
My birth went good and baby is healthy. I was amazed at how quickly I got back my strength and energy this time. I can remember still being draggy at 6 months postpartum with previous births. Now I have been implementing whatever I can from Weston Price. I think weekly chiropractic visits and lots of fresh raw goat milk made a difference. At 6 weeks postpartum I was feeling great.
I always reminded myself that if God didn't want women to bear children at 40 he would have made us that way. I'm rooting for you

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Re: Over 40 & Pregnant: Concerns & Experience
« Reply #31 on: July 22, 2008, 10:13:48 AM » by mommie

Yeah, I've heard of their tests being wrong w/ "older" ladies. Saying there is a problem and than the baby is born just fine!! I think sometimes they purposely do it trying to get them to abort just cause SOMETIMES the medical field is just that twisted! ANYWAYS! I'm only 27 and still feel like something will be "wrong" with one of my children each time. I think its a "natural" fear and yeah those hormones don't help any. God will give you grace for all situations he places before you! if you're concerned I would just eat plenty of extra Essential Fatty Acids (takinga fish oil, flax or cod liver oil supplements, incorporating fresh ground flax seed in the diet and cooking w/ coconut oil) that is excellent for the fetus especially in the first and third trimester I've heard to help w/ brain development and I'd take extra calcium for strong healthy development of bones ...

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Re: Over 40 & Pregnant: Concerns & Experience
« Reply #32 on: July 22, 2008, 01:07:18 PM » by creekmom

Thanks everyone for your encouragement and good wisdom. I'm not reading anymore info about the risks because the devil just takes that information and bombards my mind with it. It's good to know and realize that our God is not a God of fear and all that negative info does not come from him. Right now it seems that it is an all day thing of having to renew my mind with truth because right now all those fears are still there in the back of my mind. If I let the fear control me it really makes my stomach sick, a heightened sense of nervousness. I had eclempsia with my last pregnancy 10 years ago and that worries me especially now that we only have major medical insurance with no maternity benefits. I was in the hospital for over a week with that one. I wonder if midwives know of a way that can prevent the rise in blood pressure if that should occur this time. Maybe it won't. We haven't figured out which route we will take this time, traditional doctor or a birthing center or homebirth.
Thanks again for lifting me up and making me feel better.
Elizabeth

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Re: Over 40 & Pregnant: Concerns & Experience
« Reply #33 on: July 22, 2008, 01:29:21 PM » by mommie

I would get in touch with a good midwife or research on here and tell them your past problems and there are basic things you can do to help prevent these issues!! I would lean towards finding good midwife so she can give you info without all the fear related stuff or stick to searching on this forum everyone here is positive yet full of info...

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Re: Over 40 & Pregnant: Concerns & Experience
« Reply #34 on: July 22, 2008, 01:40:07 PM » by DawnsEarlyBirds

I'm 45 and was shocked to find out this spring that I was pregnant with our 8th, the youngest is almost 6. I too have nagging fears that we would have a Down's child or some other disability. Not because we have problems with that, but because of all the extra work it might be and would we have the energy for this. My husband has a Down's nephew so we know some of what goes along with it. But the Lord reminded me just today, that if we do have that or some other problem it is because it what is best for our growth in Him.

Besides, we have all the live in help we could possibly ask for - in fact are turning down offers of other adults who want to come after the baby is born knowing that they will just be in the way around our smoothly running house. I am assured I have to give birth, nurse this baby, and change the worst diapers, but after that "we're all set Mom."

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Re: Over 40 & Pregnant: Concerns & Experience
« Reply #35 on: July 22, 2008, 01:49:25 PM » by ShabbyChic

I am willing to bet that this baby is going to bless you in ways you cannot even comprehend. That's what our latest addition has done for me.

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Re: Over 40 & Pregnant: Concerns & Experience
« Reply #36 on: July 22, 2008, 04:38:25 PM » by cecac

I just had a baby at the age of 42. He was an 11.1 pound chunk of a little man Grin

. He's my tenth.

Yes, I would say that we can tend to have more fears. I just didn't even stop to think about things in my 20's as much, but I will also say I was likely less thankful. I took more for granted, I think.

This is an advantage in some ways, IMO. You can take care of yourself more knowledgeably now than before, and you'll take care of baby, too. However, I know that does not address the concern of baby having physical difficulties.

You may have to slow down more, you may not. Older lady pregnancy is different for many of us. Here is a thread on that:

http://www.welltellme.com/discuss/index.php/topic,8090.0.html

HTH, ((((hugs)))), Congratuations!!
Cara

« Last Edit: July 22, 2008, 05:06:03 PM by cecac »
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Re: Over 40 & Pregnant: Concerns & Experience
« Reply #37 on: July 22, 2008, 04:54:14 PM » by LKS

I am 40 & 15 wks pregnant. My youngest is turning 2 so I was 38 when I had him. The medical community WILL try scare tactics & encourage numerous tests regardless of the need or desire. One thing that really struck me & my husband was the percentages on amniocentesis. According to their own stats there was a higher chance of the amnio causing me to lose the baby than there was a chance of something being wrong w/ the baby. And they still reccommended the amnio Shocked

God is in control & he has given you this great gift. Try to focus on that. And as someone already said, once this little person is here you won't be able to imagine life without them. Blessings Kiss

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Re: Over 40 & Pregnant: Concerns & Experience
« Reply #38 on: July 22, 2008, 08:56:59 PM » by abbilynn

Congratulations LKS and DawnsEarlyBirds!!!!!! Grin

Although I know nothing about pregnancy past the age of 40, I know a BIG GOD who does. Cheesy

Just wanted to tell you both how exciting I think it is, and how wonderful it will be when you get that little blessing in your arms. Kiss

abbilynn

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Re: Over 40 & Pregnant: Concerns & Experience
« Reply #39 on: July 22, 2008, 11:26:02 PM » by Helpmeetmom

Hey Creekmom,
My Mom and Dad waited 7 years before they had their first (me), she was 30, and proceeded to have 5 children total, all evenly spaced about 2-3 years apart. My mom had us all at home, with 0 complications. She was 43 with her last one, and again at home.
I have known plenty of people who have had babies in their forties and they were totally healthy. I know one woman who had 4 children when she was young, then didn't have any for 11 years, and got preggo at 42, then again at 44. Both kids are very happy and healthy, and the parents are "plum tickled". Wink

I'm so glad you aren't looking at the statistics anymore. How exciting for you! I'm totally grateful to the example that my mom has been. Because of her, I have never been afraid to have natural births, and I have been able to tell countless women about all of her healthy home births, and the one at 43. You will be just fine, you are still young Wink

There is a lady in our church who just had a baby when she was 44 or 45 I can't remember which. ALso, you now have welltellme for this pregnancy! It sure helped mine!

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Re: Over 40 & Pregnant: Concerns & Experience
« Reply #40 on: July 23, 2008, 07:00:20 AM » by momof6boys

Just to encourage you--I am 45 years old and just delivered my 7th baby. This was my 4th c-section and my first girl. I am a nurse and my husband is a physician so I know all the scare tactics that can be used and even experienced some of the fear you are.
You do have a right to refuse testing. I did the bare minimum this time knowing that my risks were greater. My baby came out very healthy and has been such a blessing to us all.
May God give you much peace during this time!

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Re: Over 40 & Pregnant: Concerns & Experience
« Reply #41 on: July 23, 2008, 07:58:27 AM » by Yooper

Quote from: creekmom on July 22, 2008, 01:07:18 PM

...I had eclampsia with my last pregnancy 10 years ago and that worries me especially now that we only have major medical insurance with no maternity benefits. I was in the hospital for over a week with that one. I wonder if midwives know of a way that can prevent the rise in blood pressure if that should occur this time. Maybe it won't...

Congratulations, Elizabeth! I hope to be still having children in my 40s.

We have some good discussions here on preventing pre-eclampsia/eclampsia (I had pre-eclampsia w/ my 1st, my other 3 were fine)...many kind women sharing things that have helped. I'll link some main ones, but there may be other threads you can search for (diet, blood presssure, healthy pregnancy, supplements, etc)...
http://www.welltellme.com/discuss/index.php/topic,1526.0.html
http://www.welltellme.com/discuss/index.php/topic,14842.0.html
http://www.welltellme.com/discuss/index.php/topic,2443.0.html

« Last Edit: July 23, 2008, 05:42:07 PM by Yooper »
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Re: Over 40 & Pregnant: Concerns & Experience
« Reply #42 on: July 23, 2008, 02:38:57 PM » by daisey

It is kind of scary but God is in control. I had 2 of my 5 children after 40 and they are both wonderful. I didn't have my first child until I was 31 and they used to say never have a first after age 30. Guess I did everything wrong yet have 5 of the most wonderful children that are almost all grown now. Just keep trusting God. I know there were many days I was afraid so I made cards with all those wonderful verses about what a loving Father we have and resting in Him and they were a great comfort to me.
Will pray that all goes well for you.

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Re: Over 40 & Pregnant: Concerns & Experience
« Reply #43 on: July 23, 2008, 02:48:45 PM » by zmama

Congratulations on your pregnancy. You are right that it would be good to stay away from the articles that are promoting fear.

I had my fifth (last, so far) baby after I turned 40. She is 2 years old now. I had four of my five children after the age of 35, when many in the medical community feel a woman is "at risk" for all the defects, etc. The clinic I go to has nothing but Christian doctors who value life--one of them has 9 children. Not one time was I ever told not to get pregnant at my age. I was never encouraged to use birth control. I have higher-risk pregnancies (incompetent cervix) and even then I was not told to quit having babies. Nor was I ever offered any of the usual testing that many doctors require their "older" patients to have.

I find it interesting that my first two children are the ones with the health issues--the children I had when I was younger. My second child has three separate health issues, two of them quite serious. My last three children are incredibly healthy. The more I have, the smarter they get. Either that or I'm just older/wiser and am making more healthy choices in nutrition or in breast-feeding them much longer than I did their older siblings?? So maybe they are getting the benefits of an older mommy?

I have a friend who had her first child in her early 20's. She and her husband were stunned when their daughter was born with Down's. She had none of the risk factors at all...no family history, nothing! So you just never know. God forms our babies in our wombs as He desires no matter our age, etc.

I also attend a church with many other large families (many have 6-9 children). Quite a few of those mothers had their babies at the age of 40 or even later...all healthy.

Be encouraged that God is in control! Blessings!

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Re: Over 40 & Pregnant: Concerns & Experience
« Reply #44 on: July 23, 2008, 03:10:16 PM » by kaylhew

Elizabeth,

Congratulations! How exciting to get such a special surprise! My husband and I were likewise surprised last week. Many blessings to your family.

My mom was 44 when she had my youngest brother 16 years ago. He is the youngest of seven (I'm the eldest). He was her only homebirth and his was the easiest birth. This baby is also not your first - I understand a first child after 40 can be more difficult but you have already birthed children so your body does know what to do. Just don't let the doctors talk you into any fancy tests. They were offered to my mom and she said that regardless of the results they would never abort, so what is the point. I've known several families who had the unnecessary testing and results that said their child was highly likely to have problems, but when they were born, the child was perfectly healthy. The parents had months of needless worry because of those foolish tests.

I hope my two-bits has been helpful. Again, congratulations!

Mrs. H

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Re: Over 40 & Pregnant: Concerns & Experience
« Reply #45 on: July 23, 2008, 04:00:03 PM » by cecac

Quote from: kaylhew on July 23, 2008, 03:10:16 PM

Elizabeth,

I've known several families who had the unnecessary testing and results that said their child was highly likely to have problems, but when they were born, the child was perfectly healthy. The parents had months of needless worry because of those foolish tests.

I have a friend who just had a beautiful baby girl last week. Since her last baby is a child with downs syndrome, she decided to have the blood tests. They came back with news that was just awful--that this baby was high risk for Trisomy 13 or 18. Both of those are very fatal conditions in most cases.

As I said, the baby is very healthy. The emotional turmoil my dear friend went through for almost nine months was difficult.

I understand that some of those blood tests (excluding amnio, which carries a risk of miscarriage but is accurate) are newer tests and are not very accurate.

Cara

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Re: Over 40 & Pregnant: Concerns & Experience
« Reply #46 on: July 23, 2008, 06:57:34 PM » by LKS

Just my thoughts, it has been many years since I have done research but my findings were that most prenatal testing is very faulty. There are high instances of false results both positive & negative. They will then use those results to convince you to take further & more invasive tests. And the basis for most of this testing is to look for Downs Syndrome. They really are not looking for anything else. And they are looking for this in order to encourage you to abort. With my youngest, 2 yrs ago, my husband was looking for reassurance of our babies health & he was truly disappointed & disgusted that their emphasis was on Down Sydrome only. And they seemed equally disgusted with us because we wouldn't go on a "witch hunt" with them. Quite honestly my advice is to avoid all testing w/ the possible exception of US

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Re: Over 40 & Pregnant: Concerns & Experience
« Reply #47 on: July 23, 2008, 06:59:42 PM » by creekmom

Thanks again to everyone who has encouraged me. It really helps me to go back and read all of your replies. It has really lifted me up. Congratulations to you all who are expecting or who have just had one. I'm thankful for this group.
Elizabeth

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Re: Over 40 & Pregnant: Concerns & Experience
« Reply #48 on: July 24, 2008, 09:04:25 AM » by DawnsEarlyBirds

Quote from: momof6boys on July 23, 2008, 07:00:20 AM

Just to encourage you--I am 45 years old and just delivered my 7th baby. This was my 4th c-section and my first girl.
May God give you much peace during this time!

See what God might do if you keep trusting Him! - a girl! My 2nd and 7th are girls and God's timing in giving each of them to us was perfect, the first to teach me the joys of being female (I was raised very much a tomboy and have never enjoyed "girly" things) and the 2nd to be a wonderful tender companion even though she spends much of her time doing boy things (her few dolls were used to drive the Tonka trucks.)

This thread has been a wonderful reminder to me too to look forward with joy to what the Lord has in store for us with this next one.

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Re: Over 40 & Pregnant: Concerns & Experience
« Reply #49 on: October 02, 2008, 07:25:52 PM » by Lucky Scrunchy

Quote from: CountyCork on January 28, 2008, 05:20:43 PM

Anyone else out there having babies in their 40s? Already have a lot of kids?

I'm 41, just had number two seven months ago. Suffered two m/cs prior to that... very painful. We would love many more. I still worry because of my age, but then I read about all of you having 6, 7, 8 plus children, then I don't fear so much.

I also fear Down Syndrome.

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Re: Over 40 & Pregnant: Concerns & Experience
« Reply #50 on: October 02, 2008, 07:30:51 PM » by daisey

I think the medical profession is behind all the scare of pregnancy when older. I had my last child when I was 44. Just think of it this way. When all those other women who quit having children at age 30 or so are 60 they will have an empty nest. You on the other hand will have a young person to keep you company in your aging years. I am so blessed by the children I had after the age of 30. Cheesy

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Re: Over 40 & Pregnant: Concerns & Experience
« Reply #51 on: October 02, 2008, 08:09:47 PM » by hi_itsgwen

Quote from: daisey on October 02, 2008, 07:30:51 PM

I think the medical profession is behind all the scare of pregnancy when older.

Well, this is true. The medical profession does keep track of the problems associated with 'geriatric' pregnancies. (That's actually what they call any pregnancy over 35! Isn't that awful!) But I think a lot of times, a woman's ability to have healthy babies has a lot to do with how healthy she is from the inside out. The 'SAD' (standard American Diet) isn't designed with health in mind. Just imagine how many deficiencies a woman who eats a 'normal' diet has by the time she's in her mid 30's...add to that the number of times she's carried a baby and breastfed...and you've got a worn out and sapped body. Not good odds for health of Mama or baby. I think it's really hugely important to become proactive about your nutrition in your childbearing years.

Also, being fearful is, in itself, unhealthy. Just go with how God leads you and your husband individually...you can trust the Lord to give you the right answers.

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Re: Over 40 & Pregnant: Concerns & Experience
« Reply #52 on: October 02, 2008, 10:08:02 PM » by Lucky Scrunchy

Your post made me cry..............THANK YOU!!!!! Grin

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Re: Over 40 & Pregnant: Concerns & Experience
« Reply #53 on: November 05, 2009, 02:59:35 PM » by mykidsmom

Ahem. Well, had to post here because I can't tell anyone else!!!!!!!! I am 39 - will be 40 in Feb. 10. Testing today because I'm pretty darn sure we're expecting again. Been 8.5yrs since our last one. Shocked

Oh my gosh! The panic, the joy at even the thought.

patti

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Re: Over 40 & Pregnant: Concerns & Experience
« Reply #54 on: November 05, 2009, 05:06:02 PM » by hi_itsgwen

Quote from: mykidsmom on November 05, 2009, 02:59:35 PM

Oh my gosh! The panic, the joy at even the thought.

patti

AAAAaaaahhhhhhh!!!!!! How exciting Patti! What a blessing!!! You know SO much more than you did 8.5 years ago, and are in much better health now. I'm so excited for you! Kiss

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Re: Over 40 & Pregnant: Concerns & Experience
« Reply #55 on: November 05, 2009, 06:45:15 PM » by mommie

YAY!!!

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Re: Over 40 & Pregnant: Concerns & Experience
« Reply #56 on: November 05, 2009, 08:31:36 PM » by brightspot

Quote from: mykidsmom on November 05, 2009, 02:59:35 PM

Oh my gosh! The panic, the joy at even the thought.

patti

I was 40 when I had my last one! There are 5 years between her and the next in line but she has been soooo much fun! She was 20 months old this week! Congratulations!

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Re: Over 40 & Pregnant: Concerns & Experience
« Reply #57 on: November 05, 2009, 09:51:59 PM » by Melie

YA-HOO Patti! Thrilled for you.

Quote from: mykidsmom on November 05, 2009, 02:59:35 PM

Oh my gosh! The panic, the joy at even the thought.

patti

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Re: Over 40 & Pregnant: Concerns & Experience
« Reply #58 on: November 06, 2009, 04:32:05 PM » by daisey

Congratulations, patti. I was 44 when my last one was born.......she is such a treasure............as were all the rest. Cheesy

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Re: Over 40 & Pregnant: Concerns & Experience
« Reply #59 on: November 07, 2009, 07:39:19 AM » by mykidsmom

Quote from: mykidsmom on November 05, 2009, 02:59:35 PM

Oh my gosh! The panic, the joy at even the thought.

patti

I have taken several tests. The first two came out negative (I did late afternoon urine after drinking way too much water). I finally took one yesterday afternoon ('cause I couldn't stand waiting any longer) and got the absolute faintest positive you can get comparing it to the package. It was so faint I decided to test again early this AM with first morning urine. Unfortunately, I started bleeding early this AM. It's not a normal bleed for sure. I'm cramping uncomfortably which is rare for me. So I assume I maybe was pregnant? My body quickly kicked into "I'm pregnant" mode about two weeks ago and has increased much daily. So on the one hand I'm relieved, on the other I am sorely disappointed. Undecided