Potty Training - Hints and Tricks

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Re: Potty Training - Hints and Tricks
« Reply #120 on: January 02, 2008, 03:09:00 PM » by chrysalyde

Help ! Is there a compassionate soul out there who would give me some advice ? I'm at loss. I don't know what to do with my 2yo son. I did the potty training in a day method (which I had used successfully with his 3yo brother when he just turned two) back in september. He was only 21mo then, and I knew he was a little young, but decided to give it a try because I was really hoping he would be trained by the time his little sister would be born. I was prepared for it to take a bit longer to train him because he was so young and didn't expect as much of him right away (like being totally independant -I still helped him pull his pants up and down). At first it didn't work out so well, and my husband said go back to diapers. Which we did but then he started asking to go potty when he was bored, like during church services. So I thought : wow, he really is capable of being trained, and he is smart enough to know when to go when it is convenient for him. So we went pack to underwear and he did pretty well. Baby was born and he just kept up his progress (my MIL being there during that time really helped a lot). He was only having about one accident a week -basically trained. He still wore diapers during naps and nights, and got really upset when little sister was big enough to start wearing the same kind of diapers as his (she was wearing newborn diapers before). Since then he has been going downhill. Accidents became more and more frequent. I decided I wouldn't be fooled, I knew what he was capable of and I didn't expect any less. So I started disciplining him for accidents. That helped a little, but he still had accidents. A few weeks into this, my husband really thought disciplining him was not working, so I told our son that he wouldn't be disciplined any more for accidents. Well... since then he practically never goes in the potty... I try to encourage him with treats if he keeps his pants dry, but its not working. However, he does much better in public than at home and seems to like to go as a diversion when he thinks it is convenient, especially during church meetings or after I put him down for bed (that way he gets to get up again...). He goes every time he says he needs to go, so I know he has perfect bladder control. For example last week my husband was going to take him to a Christmas market, and I knew our son would need to go during that time and that my husband would not like an accident in the middle of the market, so I tried to put a diaper on him. He didn't want the diaper and I thought I shouldn't discourage him if he wanted to be a big boy. So he went without a diaper and did fine. So he can control himself when he wants to.
What should I do ? I don't want to give up after all those months of efforts !

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Re: Potty Training - Hints and Tricks
« Reply #121 on: January 02, 2008, 06:05:16 PM » by nexis777

Have you talked with your husband about all this? Maybe all he was seeing was the accidents and just truly didn't think he could control himself. If you lay all of it out before him, perhaps he will change his mind. If, however, he still says no discipline, then, I think you need to honor your husbands request and cease disciplining for it. In that case there are a few things you could try, including setting a timer and taking him to the bathroom every hour (or however often you decide). Make sure you have a habit of interrupting right when he's in the middle of doing something he really likes (playing or something) and tell him, since he can't seem to remember to go on the potty himself, that you are going to take him. It might be that the interruptions in his play would be aggravating enough that he will start to take himself so that he's not interrupted all the time when he doesn't really need to go, kwim? Or, I suppose you could just put him in and leave him in diapers completely until your dh decides it's been long enough and if he won't do it on his own, then he needs to be disciplined.
Just some thoughts, HTH's

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Re: Potty Training - Hints and Tricks
« Reply #122 on: January 03, 2008, 09:00:25 AM » by chrysalyde

thanks nexis for your reply. Yes, my husband and I have talked and talked about this issue and he deosn't know what to do either. I just didn't think the disciplining was working (it certainly wasn't working 100%, but now after stopping it I see that it did help a little, now my son has no motivation to not go in his clothes). My husband just wants the accidents to stop, whether it means finding a solution or going back to diapers.

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Re: Potty Training - Hints and Tricks
« Reply #123 on: January 08, 2008, 09:41:41 AM » by steadygirl

Does your son get upset when he messes himself. Huh

I think that would be a good sign that he wants to be trained. I have been working with my 21m old son off and on since he was 18m old with potty training. We had to stop for a little while because he was getting frustrated, but now he is back at it. I found out that if I let him go around bottomless he went on his potty perfectly- even poop. My husband doesn`t really like that method, but it was just until he got so he would do as well in training pants. He goes almost perfectly wearing his undies now, so my husband is happy. I just am trying to get him trained before my next one comes along. I still use diapers at night and when we go away and he doesn`t use the potty if he has a diaper on. Maybe you could use the discomfort factor in training him- be a little slow to get the nasty diaper or undies off. (other experienced moms correct me if I am wrong. Wink

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Re: Potty Training - Hints and Tricks
« Reply #124 on: January 08, 2008, 09:46:40 AM » by happyhomemaker

What is it about boys that makes them not care? I have a 3 1/2 yob that is not pt. We've tried the Pearl method, food rewards, praise, small token toys etc. Nothing motovates him, and we are so tired of it. Being wet or messy means nothing to him. I'd love some ideas from those of you who have been there none this. Having 2 in diapers is okay, but 3 is a little much. Tongue

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Re: Potty Training - Hints and Tricks
« Reply #125 on: January 08, 2008, 09:57:56 AM » by Roehrmomma

Quote from: happyhomemaker on January 08, 2008, 09:46:40 AM

Treat him like your youngest.

Oh babies don't eat food they drink milk.

Oh babies can't play outside they sit in a chair and watch they are not big enough to play.

Babies wear diapers.

Babies take 2 naps.

Etc....

That could fix it real quick. Make him live like a baby til he 'grows up'. Just be very matter of fact. And show him how a baby lives.I think any one made to live as a baby will quickly decide to leave ALL babyness behind.

Em

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Re: Potty Training - Hints and Tricks
« Reply #126 on: January 08, 2008, 03:12:32 PM » by *MommaJo*

Once we were sure my oldest knew better than to go in his pants, when he did we treated it as disobedience, as that is what it was.
We made sure he knew where he was supposed to go and if he didn't, it was considered disobeying.

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Re: Potty Training - Hints and Tricks
« Reply #127 on: January 16, 2008, 01:48:36 PM » by mammamaude

Our son turned 3 a few weeks ago. We have been "potty training" him for about 6 months now, with no positive results. I take him to the Bathroom every 15-30 minutes, and he usually goes, but he will also go in his pants inbetween times-which is very frustrating. He is a very "clean" little boy who does not like his clothes or hands to be dirty, but doesn't care when his pants are dirty-which I don't understand.
It also seems as if he doesn't realize "when" to go.
I have 2 in diapers now and if he's not trained in a few months I will have 4 in diapers.
Any suggestions or advice would really be appreciated.
Thanks
-Sarah

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Re: Potty Training - Hints and Tricks
« Reply #128 on: January 16, 2008, 03:15:17 PM » by steadygirl

That seems like he has to go an awful lot. Maybe you should have him checked to make sure he doesn't have an infection or something. I had a lady tell me that she had a child that wasn't potty training and she found out he had a bladder infection and said he was potty trained days after he got over it! They recommend starting potty training when your child can hold it for at least 2hrs and through naps. He should be able to make it that long at his age. Hope he trains soon. That would be horrible to have that many in diapers!!! Shocked

(You might have to hire someone just to change diapers. Wink

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Re: Potty Training - Hints and Tricks
« Reply #129 on: January 16, 2008, 03:25:21 PM » by mammamaude

He doesn't go very much at a time. And he doesn't complain about hurting, but I think I will have him checked.

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Re: Potty Training - Hints and Tricks
« Reply #130 on: January 16, 2008, 03:28:05 PM » by Roehrmomma

My DD is 3 and has been trained for a while. But a while ago she started going just a little hear and there. HB thought maybe citrus was causing it. She was right. So we cut out citrus. She goes so much less now. And no accidents.

Em

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Re: Potty Training - Hints and Tricks
« Reply #131 on: January 16, 2008, 03:32:36 PM » by mammamaude

Quote from: Roehrmomma on January 16, 2008, 03:28:05 PM

Citris...like oranges and grapefruit?? That's probably not it, we like apples!
But thanks...

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Re: Potty Training - Hints and Tricks
« Reply #132 on: January 16, 2008, 07:23:44 PM » by floydian

Have yall tried the In One Day method where instead of concentrating on him going to the potty, you train to stay dry.

You give them treats for staying dry. You wouldn't give the treats for pottying, just the staying dry.

That's what finally worked for us when we were potty training our first little guy.

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Re: Potty Training - Hints and Tricks
« Reply #133 on: January 16, 2008, 07:40:01 PM » by Kitty

Quote from: floydian on January 16, 2008, 07:23:44 PM

ROTFL in recollection of our attempt w/ dd in '99! Cheesy

We were *just* talking about this...we loaded her up on juice (to promote urination, per the book, I think) and M & Ms and popsicles (if she was dry). Well. She was SO hyper that she was falling off the toilet seat querying earnestly, "Pockles? Pockles?" [popsicle]. We gave up after that morning. Roll Eyes

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Re: Potty Training - Hints and Tricks
« Reply #134 on: January 16, 2008, 08:18:02 PM » by floydian

Quote from: Yooper on January 16, 2008, 07:40:01 PM

Quote from: floydian on January 16, 2008, 07:23:44 PM

ROTFL in recollection of our attempt w/ dd in '99! Cheesy

Yeah, that seems sort of familiar. Now everyone will have to give out WTM snacks. Kombuchasicles.

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Re: Potty Training - Hints and Tricks
« Reply #135 on: January 16, 2008, 09:06:43 PM » by Kitty

LOL...I WOULD use different incentives this time Cheesy

..."kombuchasicles"--that's GREAT! Maybe some dried fruit, granola, squeaky cheese, kefir, and the like.

You need to seriously write a book--"Parenting w/ WTM concepts", or something like that. Grin

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Re: Potty Training - Hints and Tricks
« Reply #136 on: January 16, 2008, 10:31:18 PM » by Gigi

Quote from: floydian on January 16, 2008, 07:23:44 PM

Yes, this is what did it for us as well. Big difference!! Seems so simple.

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Re: Potty Training - Hints and Tricks
« Reply #137 on: February 28, 2008, 01:44:58 PM » by Leat

I need help with my 2year old. He pees like a champ in the toilet, but won't poop in it. He has been potty trained for a few months. I don't know what his problem is. I try to watch for signs but he always just goes in his pants. He doesn't like it. He'll come waddling and telling me," poo mama."

I don't know how to teach him the feeling BEFORE so we can make it to the toilet in time.

I have tried the cold rinse in the tub, didn't faze him. I have tried scolding. He KNOWS it is not good to poop in his pants.

I am just at a loss. DH is very frustrated about it. I have three other boys, but never had trouble like this with them.

ANY suggestions would be VERY welcome!

Leat

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Re: Potty Training - Hints and Tricks
« Reply #138 on: March 03, 2008, 04:12:34 PM » by MamaJ

My daughter is very similar. She'll be turning 3 in two weeks time. She has going pee down pat, with almost no accidents ever. However, when it comes to going poo in the potty, she won't. She has before, successfully. But I don't know if she doesn't like the sensation, or what. She now waits all day until I put a diaper on her at night (she still wets at night) and then goes.

I took away her treat privileges when she had mastered urinating in the potty, and I tried bringing that back as incentive to poop, but to no avail. When it came to training her in the first place, she just plain didn't do it until she was ready. We tried every trick in the book and none of them worked, and then one day she just did it. I have a feeling it'll be that way again for her in this area.

Mama J.

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Re: Potty Training - Hints and Tricks
« Reply #139 on: March 04, 2008, 10:59:57 AM » by healthybratt

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Re: Potty Training - Hints and Tricks
« Reply #140 on: March 23, 2008, 06:30:23 PM » by MamaJ

Yet another milestone!

My three year old finally learned to do #2 in the potty. The problem is this: during the days she's had success with that, she's gone back to having #1 accidents! I'm not sure if it's just a matter of getting her mind used to recognizing both sensations, or what. We also started getting her 2 year old sister interested in sitting on the potty, so is it a possibility that she's not liking the attention her sister gets? Any suggestions?

Mama J.

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Re: Potty Training - Hints and Tricks
« Reply #141 on: April 05, 2008, 08:06:37 PM » by Seeker of Truth

HELP! We're trying to potty train ds #2 (he's two years old). DS #1 had a very easy time of it. He liked being clean and was trained at 2 in about a week. Very easy stuff. This one... is another story. He's always been the "messy" one. He loves getting dirty, doesn't care if he's messy with food, sand, dirt, or anything. He just doesn't seem to care about potty training. We've tried chocolate chips (ds #1 we used M&M's), tried setting the timer and sitting on the potty every 15 to 20 mins, pouring warm water... etc. He's big enough now that diapers can barely contain the amt. of poo and pee that he has! He's also figured out how to take diapers off and to our shock and horror doesn't care about smearing poo all over!!! Shocked

Taken care of that 2 too many times to EVER want to do that again. He's still not very verbal and does not communicate very well.

I just ordered the Toilet Training in Day book... but does anyone else have a child like this??? What did you do. He just doesn't care... but diapers cannot contain it all.

HELP!

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Re: Potty Training - Hints and Tricks
« Reply #142 on: April 05, 2008, 09:37:08 PM » by mommie

Have you trid letting him run around naked/in big boy undewear for a week just constantly cleaning behind him so he knows what happens when he gets that feeling??? i have all tile so its easier...than set a kidy potty out as wellb

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Re: Potty Training - Hints and Tricks
« Reply #143 on: June 10, 2008, 02:15:00 PM » by Pennie

I wouldn't say this is a hint or trick but I have to say woohoo!! Grin

My "baby" turned two at the end of Feb and I want her to potty train. I "worked" with her one day but every time she got off hte potty then she would pee. Well, yesterday and today all we have done is try to stay cool so I havne't really made anyone do anything. Well this morning after she got tired of her wet diaper she told me she stinks so I took it off but she was just wet. Well, I figured she just wanted a clean diaper so she could poop. So she has had nothing on all day. I did put panties on her once but she got rid of them. I haven't found them yet. I don't know if htey are wet or not. Roll Eyes

Well, the kids are watching movies so I just put her potty chair in there and I KNOW she has to poop she has even brought me a diaper but when she does I say go sit on the potty. Well, she just came in and said I stink and I said go sit on the potty and she said, gesturing with her cute little and hand to come, "'mere 'mere." So I came and she had peed in the potty!! Grin

So we clapped and made a big deal and gave her chcoco chips. SO we are on our way to saving money!!! I hope. Grin

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Re: Potty Training - Hints and Tricks
« Reply #144 on: June 10, 2008, 04:30:50 PM » by Becks

Each of my three kids have been different. So here's my experience for what it's worth.

My oldest daughter was 3 1/2 before she was fully potty trained. What finally worked for us was this... We told her... "You're too old for diapers. But you're still having accidents in your underwear and we can't keep you in panties when you have accidents all over the house like that. So here's what we'll do... If you want to keep having accidents and wearing diapers then you'll have to change them yourself."

We tried doing the reverse which was letting her keep wearing panties but she'd have to rinse them out herself, but she enjoyed that responsibility too much.

So the thing that worked was saying she had to go back to diapers and she had to change them herself. She went two weeks changing her own diapers (looked very comical and was very frustrating for her) when she finally announced that diapers were too much work (My thoughts exactly Wink

) and she wanted to just use the potty. Yahoo! Praise God! We were all rejoicing!

With our son it was less of a power struggle and more of a lack of information. He had just turned 3 when we finally got him trained. What worked for him was to realize that he was waking in the night screaming because he was wetting his diaper at those times, but wasn't awake enough to be able to say what was happening and he didn't realize he had the option to get out of bed and go on the potty. So we heard about a friend who had a night screamer as well and this technique worked for them. We got him up in the night when he screamed and took him to the bathroom. It's like a light bulb went off in his head and he realized he could get up and go to the bathroom when he needed too. For some strange reason this knowledge alone set his mind at ease. After just two or three nights of waking up with him he started holding it and waking up dry in the morning. The carryover is that he also started keeping himself dry in the daytime too. So for him it was all about making connections and having all the information he needed to take care of himself.

Now our third child is just 11 days shy of 2 years old. She has decided on her own that she wants to go potty on the toilet. We are still in the process of training her and it feels like it's going pretty smoothly. I've made a practice of keeping her potty chair available. Setting aside a whole day to work on it and then reviewing the skill later to keep the progress going. We still use diapers but after she successfully uses the potty we'll reward her by letting her wear panties. She loves that. At first she had us all confused by being visibly upset about seeing poop in her little potty chair. I asked my oldest daughter to help me with the youngest and she gladly sat with her on a little step stool encouraging her to "Go poopy on the toilet sissy." When she was successful my oldest would give her a little miniature marshmallow. It worked! Having big sister help was a fun novelty and took her mind off of the stress of seeing her own poop. The marshmallows helped her see what a positive thing it was to go poopy on the toilet. (My youngest is lactose intolerant, so no M&Ms for her.) I've also heard of using potato chips as a reward because they are salty and encourage them to drink more water.

I've also tried using juice as a reward which also helps keep them hydrated. This resulted in a hilarious misunderstanding when our oldest was potty training. We bought her a yummy juice box and said she could drink it after going poop on the toilet. She proudly announced to grandma as she showed her the juice box that "Look grandma, this is my poop juice!" Grin

The skills I look for are:
Body awareness
Can undress him/herself
Can get on/off potty alone

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Re: Potty Training - Hints and Tricks
« Reply #145 on: June 16, 2008, 09:07:46 AM » by jaemom

Thought I'd post our recent potty training experience in case it might help someone in the future. Here's some background. My daughter turned 3 in May, she has had issues resembling autism in the past, many gut issues/dairy sensitivity/etc., and we just moved. Previously she would scream and cry while on the potty, seemingly terrified, holding in her #1 and #2. Here's our recent experience. My original goal was to just get her used to being dry all the time, in panties. My thinking was if she stayed dry long enough, she would like it, then be willing to learn to go on the potty. This did result with quite a few "accidents" and clean ups, which I encouraged her to help me clean up.

First, I went out with her and I let her choose her panties. She picked Dora, so I bought her a 3-pack of those and a 9-pack of the cheaper ones. I made a big deal out of it and she told me that she would wear them the next day.

Day 1: I had to convince her to put them on, keeping my tone and attitude positive was difficult, but finally she complied. I was trying to let her choose which pair, but she wanted nothing to do with it. Maybe too many choices? So I chose a plain white pair and told her she could choose some prettier ones when she was more obedient. She went potty (#1) only three times that day. Her sister (7) took her. Every time she went in her panties, I changed her as quickly as possible to keep her dry and matter-of-factly told her that she was a big girl now and big girls go in the potty. Throughout the day, I kept telling her that she was a big girl, and even gave her other "big girl" things to do, like helping me with laundry and such. I didn't offer sweets like before, she only got a hug when she went or tried to go in the potty, although her big sis did reward her with some skittles. Dad brought her home a treat for spending the day in panties. Whenever she wanted to wear a diaper, I told her that diapers were for bedtime only.

Day 2: Lost my patience trying to get her to wear the panties. Forcibly put them on her. Regained my cool and reinforced the diaper only in bed statement. By 10 am she had gone (#1) on the floor at least 4 times and was sitting at the top of the stairs in her room begging me for a diaper. I let her cry for a little while. I figured she had to go #2 and was holding it. After about 10 minutes passed, I went and put a diaper on her and put her in the bed. She was tired from not sleeping well the night before, so I thought she'd be more compliant after a nap. Nope. She didn't go even once in the potty, but I continued to tell her that she was a big girl and big girls go in the potty and wear panties. Made sure I was giving her a chance to do "big girl" things all day.

Day 3: Came out of my room and she was still wearing a diaper. Picked up a plain green pair of panties immediately and told her I found this pretty pair of panties and asked if I could wear them. (Hey, at this point I was doing everything I could think of to get her to want to wear them.) She says no and stands up, takes her diaper off and proceeds to put them on. I thought that that was too easy, but decided to wait and see how the day went. A little while later, while eating breakfast, she starts tugging on my arm and saying to hurry that she needed to use the potty. Amazed again that it was so easy, I praised her and gave hugs as a reward. She had only three accidents that day.

Day 4: At this point she was choosing the panties and doing everything including wiping, pulling up her panties, flushing, and washing her hands all by herself. Mid morning, she goes #2 in one of her new Dora panties. If simply told her they were going in the trash and didn't make a big deal out of it. She fell asleep and wet a little later. Went to the store and put her in a pullup for that. She had wet when we got home, so I told her that the stars were gone on her pull up. Went to the potty the rest of the evening until bedtime.

Day 5: Went #2 for the first time in the potty. She was very pleased with herself. We went out for dinner that night, not too far from our house, so I put a pull up on her again. She was still dry when we got home. We haven't had any accidents since, unless you count when she was sleeping.

We are now almost 2 weeks past day 1. On Saturday, we spent most of the day out and about. She didn't have an accident. I put the little potty in the back of our SUV so she could use it before we went in any place. I lined the removeable potty part with a plastic grocery bag and put paper towels in the bottom of it, so after she went, I just pulled the plastic bag out, tied it up, and threw it away. It kept the potty nice and clean.

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Re: Potty Training - Hints and Tricks
« Reply #146 on: June 16, 2008, 01:06:27 PM » by jall29

I lined the removeable potty part with a plastic grocery bag and put paper towels in the bottom of it, so after she went, I just pulled the plastic bag out, tied it up, and threw it away. It kept the potty nice and clean.
[/quote]

Great idea, Jaemom! I think I'll try that myself. DD is almost 2 and am going to start training this week. She has a stomach virus now and I'm wishing I had some Tummy Tune-Up. Undecided

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Re: Potty Training - Hints and Tricks
« Reply #147 on: July 10, 2008, 08:00:54 PM » by wlwest

Ok, can someone help me? I have an almost 3 year old. She has been doing really good at the potty, I started her pretty young, back and forth. Anyway, here is the problem, she will go pee in the potty but not #2? She knows she is supposed to, but she doesn't. WHY??? Whenever we went on vacation, camping, she will do #2 no problem. So, as soon as we get home, bam, going in her pants again. Huh

I just don't know what to do. I've tried punishing her, telling her no TV show that she likes, etc. Is it maybe because when we are camping, vacation, she is right by me more? It seems when she is quiet somewhere playing that I've discovered she has done it???

She is the next to youngest, with a baby brother who is 18 months.

Thanks
Wendy

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Re: Potty Training - Hints and Tricks
« Reply #148 on: July 10, 2008, 10:34:40 PM » by hi_itsgwen

Both of mine were able, but refused. It's a fun game of 'make Mama handle human waste for as long as possible.' This is how I raised the stakes, so it wouldn't be worth his while:

My son refused to poo in the potty. So I took off his diaper and pants and had him go naked for a few days. Obviously, we stayed around the house. The first time he snuck into his room and left a stinky, I took him in to look at it. Yucky. That only goes into the potty. Mommy will clean it up this time, but next time you're going to put it into the potty.

Fast forward a few hours, and we're there again staring at a new pile of stinky. I say "Now it's your turn to put the poo into the potty." I take his hand and help him scoop it up (no gloves or anything) and we take it to the potty. (we are both gagging and dry heaving) We put it in and flush. Good Job! (as I quickly cover his hand in antibacterial foam soap) You put the stinky into the potty! Next time, tell Mommy, and you can sit on the potty and put your stinky right in there. We washed up really well, and then he scrubbed the carpet, and washed again.

Repeat this scenario. Never get mad. Just make him carry it to the potty and then wash him off really well. It took 3 tries, and he was convinced that sitting on the potty to poo was the best solution.

I intended on winning that battle within the week, but it only took 3 times of him having to play waste management before he was convinced that sitting on the potty was the better choice. Cheesy

Best of luck!
Gwen

« Last Edit: October 10, 2008, 06:06:06 PM by hi_itsgwen »
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Re: Potty Training - Hints and Tricks
« Reply #149 on: July 11, 2008, 11:12:55 AM » by wlwest

Ok, I'll try that. Actually, when she goes naked, she tends to do better. It's when she has underwear on that their is a problem.

But, I'll give it a try. I just don't know why she will go pee, but no poo?? Well, each kid is different!

Wendy

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