Bedtimes for children 6 and under...

AttachedPoll

Question: What time do you (generally) put your children to bed, ages 6 and under (regardless of when they fall asleep)?

7 PM or earlier - 3.1% (2)

7-7:30 PM - 10.8% (7)

7:30-8 PM - 12.3% (8)

8 PM - 18.5% (12)

8-8:30 PM - 20% (13)

after 8:30 PM - 35.4% (23)

Total Voters: 62

« WellTellMe • Forum • Natural Health • Children's Health • Sleep • Bedtimes for children 6 and under... »

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Bedtimes for children 6 and under...
« on: July 07, 2008, 04:26:01 AM » by Kitty

I always thought we were giving our children more sleep than the average kiddo (fairly early bedtimes, daily naps until 4 years). While that may be true, I don't think they're getting all that they need...

I have been reading Marc Weissbluth's Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child, upon the recommendation of several WTM members.

After giving my children (~9, 6 1/2, and 4 1/2) naps throughout this past week and a half (as needed), and instituting earlier bedtimes, I am seeing some improvements in:

--decreased frustration tolerance
--an improved ability to fall asleep
--a calmer demeanor from 3 PM - bedtime
--less nightwaking
--decreased circles under eyes

Many of these things I was attributing to the influence of various foods. Those may still be a factor, but I was overlooking the importance of "healthy" sleep for them.

Bedtime is now is around 7, w/o naps...a bit later if naps occurred. We will adjust this as need dictates, but it's hard in the summer w/ the extra daylight, nice weather, no school, etc. to go down so early. They've been falling asleep by 8 and getting up around 7-7:30. It seems like a few naps a week are needed now for the 6 and 8 year olds...they seem to be getting "caught" up.

Sleep really does beget sleep for us! Grin

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Re: Bedtimes for children 6 and under...
« Reply #1 on: July 07, 2008, 09:28:03 AM » by Kitty

Oh, come on you all! Voting w/o comment?

You stinkers! Cheesy

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Re: Bedtimes for children 6 and under...
« Reply #2 on: July 07, 2008, 09:51:31 AM » by sunshine4th

You're too funny Yooper!
My, sigh, almost two year old, goes to bed b/w 6pm-7pm. If we get him to bed between those hours, he only wakes up once a night for a diaper change and usually wakes for good between 7am-8am. If we consistently put him to bed later, we have rough attitudes in the late afternoon and WAY TOO MUCH night waking.

He also takes one or two naps. I think when he gets caught up with sleep, it will be one nap. For now, he still wakes up a bit tired.

This has been hard for us because hubby doesn't get home until 5:30pm and doesn't get to see the little guy. I make sure Jonah is fed and bathed so they can play and then hubby puts him to bed for their time together. We have found this is best for our son despite that lots of people think he gets too much sleep. But, we do lots of crazy things like eat raw garlic, drink raw milk and cloth diaper, so what's one more? Wink

I have read HSHHC, thanks kristenA, and it has helped us. Our son was a good sleeper but I listened to others way too often and he went from sleeping through the night at a young age to waking up every two hours. Shocked

Since going back to an early bad time, I have a happier boy. Hubby agrees even though he misses him. But, it is much happier with our son when he is well rested. When hubby would get home, Jonah would be crabby when they spent time together and he didn't eat dinner well. Now, their time together is better and Jonah eats much better at an earlier bed time. He and daddy just have dessert when he gets home.

I also believe that a well rested child gets sick less often and recoveries quickly. Example, I know a little off topic but of interest, my SIL has 5 kids under 6, and this winter they got every bug that went around and had it for awhile. They eat the same way we do and we spend quite a bit of time together. My family, got some of the bugs but only for a short duration if at all. The stomach bug kept them down for almost two weeks. My son had it for two days, I had it for two days and hubby had it for one. Plus, we didn't have it nearly as badly. So, the only difference in our families is that my son gets way more sleep.

I'm done rambling, I hope that makes up for others who didn't comment.

Jess

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Re: Bedtimes for children 6 and under...
« Reply #3 on: July 07, 2008, 09:56:36 AM » by lovetoreadmom

I currently put my DD (18mo) to bed around 8:15, and DS usually goes to bed b/t 8:30 and 9. This is mainly due to longer days and time w/ Daddy. I would really like for them to go to bed earlier. Also, DD usually take about a 3-3 1/2 hr nap everyday, but DS' naptime can vary.

I think this is something DH and I would have to come to a consistent agreement, though I know it's something that does warrant a little flexibility depending on schedules w/ church, visits w/ family, etc. Summertime really does seem to be a hard time to keep the schedule.

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Re: Bedtimes for children 6 and under...
« Reply #4 on: July 07, 2008, 10:49:15 AM » by Kitty

Thanks, Jess! You certainly do make up for the lack of replies. Cheesy

Your positive experience w/ early bedtime is JUST what I was hoping to hear.

When we put ours down late, too, they DON'T sleep in (contrary to popular opinion) and they can't make it though the whole day cheerfully (neither can I Roll Eyes

). Apparently if you put them down early, they'll sleep LATER. Shocked

Quote from: sunshine4th on July 07, 2008, 09:51:31 AM

My, sigh, almost two year old, goes to bed b/w 6pm-7pm. If we get him to bed between those hours, he only wakes up once a night for a diaper change and usually wakes for good between 7am-8am. If we consistently put him to bed later, we have rough attitudes in the late afternoon and WAY TOO MUCH night waking.

He also takes one or two naps. I think when he gets caught up with sleep, it will be one nap. For now, he still wakes up a bit tired.

This has been hard for us because hubby doesn't get home until 5:30pm and doesn't get to see the little guy. I make sure Jonah is fed and bathed so they can play and then hubby puts him to bed for their time together. We have found this is best for our son despite that lots of people think he gets too much sleep...

I have read HSHHC, thanks KristenA, and it has helped us. Our son was a good sleeper but I listened to others way too often and he went from sleeping through the night at a young age to waking up every two hours. Shocked

What you said about not having much time for DH and Jonah is true. But the time spent is HAPPILY spent, like you said, and you still have time for your hubby. Making one big happy family. Wink

A well-rested family is a happy family. Cool

The part about being healthier, too, was a good reminder. I can get so focused on food and supplements to the neglect of good sleep. That's a serious immune booster in itself.

LTRM--I hear you about being in consistent agreement w/ DH. We're trying to make sure they get the sleep...when are where are variables right now as I'm trying to be flexible (our room is cooler and darker).

Another thing we're doing...on days when I know they'll need a nap--they get a BIG lunch. Grin

Sneaky, huh? Wink

Baths in the evening are also helping to settle them down...Epsom salts, lavender oil...even to just play, not necessarily scrub. Wink

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Re: Bedtimes for children 6 and under...
« Reply #5 on: July 07, 2008, 11:05:52 AM » by cecac

Sorry Yooper--been busy and when I check in this hasn't been on the front screen.

Our kids go to bed at 9:00, silence by 9:30, and sleep until 7:00. That is ages 9, 7, 6 (almost), 4, 2.

Then, they also take naps. The 7 yo takes one once a week, the 6, 4, and 2 yos take one every day, with varying lengths of time depending on age.

It might would be better to put them to sleep earlier. Over several babies' births I've gotten into this habit because I also need sleep at naptime, and so I can't have all these littles not needing a nap. Undecided

I don't get to go to bed as early as they. I might be able to change it once the 6 weeks old buddy sleeps from 10PM to 5 AM. That way, I will be able to get 7 uninterrupted hours of sleep and that's enough for me.

My 7 yo, particularly, seems to need more sleep. Of course, I guess I could make sure they are quiet and going to sleep by 9 PM--they actually would likely fall asleep, maybe even by 8:30. Hmmm, something to think about.

Thanks for the thoughts,
Cara

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Re: Bedtimes for children 6 and under...
« Reply #6 on: July 07, 2008, 11:25:25 AM » by sunshine4th

It is amazing that an early bedtime produces a later wake up time. It goes against logic for me. But, it is working for us. On Sundays he goes to bed later because we don't get home from church until later but because we are consistent during the week, we don't have a problem. On the 4th we put him to bed at 6pm and got him up at 8pm to go see fireworks, he didn't get back to bed until 11pm but he slept great and got up at 8:30am. A couple of weeks ago, he would have gotten up throughout the night and woke up a 6am exhausted.

I'm a fan of early nap time and a happy family.

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Re: Bedtimes for children 6 and under...
« Reply #7 on: July 07, 2008, 11:36:43 AM » by CountyCork

Here's what works for us:

Under 2 takes one afternoon nap, 2-3 hours, then to bed at 7. He wakes up at 7 a.m.

3 & 5 to bed at 730 or 8, with story tape on. 3 takes nap most days, 2 hours. Both 3 & 5 are up by 730 or 8.

7, 9, and 12 to bed by 830, with story tape on. No naps for them. Up by 8-830 in summer.

Basically, my 1.5 year old and 3 year old sleep 12-14 hours total, 5 year old sleeps 12, and the big kids are 11 hours usually.

We are big fans of lots of sleep for kids, protecting their bed times and nap times. Obviously there are exceptions and special ocassions. But I have stuck with this since day one and I don't have kids who "melt down" during the afternoon or evening, and that is a major blessing.

We also protect our evenings as that is Mom and Dad time. When kids are put in bed, that's that. See you tomorrow. Then we have the evening from 8 or so until 11 when we go to bed. It's valuable and important to our relationship.

Personally, I have known some families who "wing it" with naps and bed time, deciding each day what they think is best. And (in my experience) the kids in that situation are restless, tired, cranky and irritable, especially late in the day.

Body rhythms are KEY and made by God. Same bed time, same wake time, healthy and happy kids AND parents!

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Re: Bedtimes for children 6 and under...
« Reply #8 on: July 07, 2008, 01:50:49 PM » by Kitty

I'm SO glad to hear that there are real life examples to show that this theory pays off! Grin

Oh, Cara--you replied w/i 7 hours of the original post. Cheesy

I was thinking of you when I typed this, and was hoping to hear of your experience w/ your many children. I'm an afternoon rester/napper myself. Wink

They all play quietly in their rooms or rest w/ me. We've been doing this for a LONG time.

Quote from: cecac on July 07, 2008, 11:05:52 AM

Sorry Yooper--been busy and when I check in this hasn't been on the front screen...

It might would be better to put them to sleep earlier. Over several babies' births I've gotten into this habit because I also need sleep at naptime, and so I can't have all these littles not needing a nap. Undecided

...

My 7 yo, particularly, seems to need more sleep. Of course, I guess I could make sure they are quiet and going to sleep by 9 PM--they actually would likely fall asleep, maybe even by 8:30. Hmmm, something to think about.

Jess--I'm noticing, too, that when they are well-rested, exceptions to the schedule don't devastate them.

Oh good, another trusted voice of experience

Quote from: CountyCork on July 07, 2008, 11:36:43 AM

...We are big fans of lots of sleep for kids, protecting their bed times and nap times. Obviously there are exceptions and special ocassions. But I have stuck with this since day one and I don't have kids who "melt down" during the afternoon or evening, and that is a major blessing.

We also protect our evenings as that is Mom and Dad time. When kids are put in bed, that's that. See you tomorrow. Then we have the evening from 8 or so until 11 when we go to bed. It's valuable and important to our relationship.

Personally, I have known some families who "wing it" with naps and bed time, deciding each day what they think is best. And (in my experience) the kids in that situation are restless, tired, cranky and irritable, especially late in the day.

Body rhythms are KEY and made by God. Same bed time, same wake time, healthy and happy kids AND parents!

We're protecting their sleep more and more, and seeing less of the grumpies, too...hearing less "I'm bored...", too. Roll Eyes

Gotta' love extra time w/ hubby, too. Wink

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Re: Bedtimes for children 6 and under...
« Reply #9 on: July 07, 2008, 02:13:39 PM » by ShabbyChic

my boys (4 in 6 days Cry

and 27 mos) are in the bedroom at 6:30. They have story time, say prayers, wind down and are knocked out by 7. Every night. They used to sleep from 9 pm until 9 am, but when they began to wake up earlier they had to go to bed earlier.

So they get 12 hours at night and my 2 year old still takes a 2 hour nap during the day. My almost 4 year old gets naps as needed. It's usually 1-2 times a week-- if we've played really hard and on Sunday.

We did let them stay up late to see the fireworks for the 4th of July, but staying up late is not an option or my kids are a TOTAL wreck. Sleep is sacred in our home. It doesn't matter what time they go to sleep, they are waking up at 7 am.

I wholeheartedly believe that the majority of ADD/ADHD problems are related to too little sleep and too much sugar (yeast/candida).

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Re: Bedtimes for children 6 and under...
« Reply #10 on: July 07, 2008, 03:04:20 PM » by Mrs. Davis

Our kids go to bed at 8. The kids that are about 8 and older are allowed to read and listen to the radio until 10. Then, at the age of 13 they can stay up until 9.

I know some let their older kids stay up later, but my dh and I find that WE need that time alone.

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Re: Bedtimes for children 6 and under...
« Reply #11 on: July 07, 2008, 05:17:23 PM » by cecac

I have been like Country Cork and not sacrificed naps and bedtime for much of anything, almost never. That has paid off.

I may try an earlier bedtime and see. Sure wouldn't hurt the kids, I've just always assumed they wouldn't go to sleep as early as 7. But 8:00, now that may very well be doable. Although, lol, I have a 9, 7, 6, 4, and 2 yos in the same room. I bet the 9 year old needs to wait til 8:30 or so. I'm game to try it.

Now, lol, what on earth do you do with teens?

Just kidding, I send 'em upstairs. I totally need more dh time like Mrs. Davis is talking about. I'm getting jealous of everybody and everything else that steals him. Of course, that will calm down as baby gets a little older. At 6 weeks, he has alot of me that dh gets fondly jealous of.

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Re: Bedtimes for children 6 and under...
« Reply #12 on: July 07, 2008, 07:01:13 PM » by cjanderin

All of mine are 6yrs and under ... they go to bed between 7 and 7.30pm. The boys (almost 3 and 1) wake up around 6.15-6.30am and the girls stay asleep till around 7.30am or so (they have usually snuggled into our bed from the early hours of the morning until then).
Keeping them up later than 7.30pm makes for grumpy children - more fights, more tears, more attitude and generally 'not coping'. They all have room time during the day - the girls rarely sleep during this time. My dd6 will occaisionally have a small nap, she seems to need more sleep than her 4yr old sister. Both the boys sleep around 2 hours in the afternoon and the 1yr old still has a short nap in the morning as well.

I've found the same thing about sleeping in. The boys might sleep a little (half an hour) later in the morning if they are kept up late but usually it's the same time (6.15am!! Shocked

) Plus, that half an hour extra is not worth the hour that they would have gotten if they had been put to bed on time. And the few times I've put them into bed just before 7pm has made no difference to their wake time in the morning.

We will keep the kids up late for something important but that's usually only once a month or so. I am just so grateful to be homeschooling though, when we do need to give the kids extra sleep because of late nights or missed naps etc. They would just be so much more grumpy and lacking vital sleep if they were at school.

In NZ they recommend that children under 10 need 12 hours sleep and that pre-teens and teenagers need around 10 hours of sleep. Sleep patterns for teenagers change though - for everybody else, the best sleep hours are actually before midnight but teenagers benefit the most from sleeping in. Their body clocks change to staying up late and sleeping in late.

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Re: Bedtimes for children 6 and under...
« Reply #13 on: July 07, 2008, 11:06:21 PM » by kittyninja

Reading this has made me even sure that i want to get mine (6, almost 4 in 22 days Cry

, and 14mos) on a sleep schedule.. Right now, we have discussed them being ASLEEP by 830pm, except on date night it is 7(which usually ends up being closer to 9pm Roll Eyes

) and they can read in bed till they fall asleep (they being the 2 oldest). Unfortunately we haven't got the baby regular. Sometimes he is up with us and then when he gets restless he goes down. I know what i WANT and NEED to do but even though things are discussed and agreed upon they usually aren't followed through. I know, not good not good. Right now it is 907pm and they just fell asleep and the baby is still up with us with us in hubby's lap playing. oh well.
I know there is a naptime and awake time thread on here somewhere...i think i am going to go haunt those ones a bit.

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Re: Bedtimes for children 6 and under...
« Reply #14 on: July 08, 2008, 04:13:15 AM » by mishy

My kiddos are all put to bed at 8. They get up in the morning anywhere between 6:30 and 8:30. Once in a blue moon, they have slept in longer which I attribute to growth spurts. The house record is 10:30am.

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Re: Bedtimes for children 6 and under...
« Reply #15 on: July 08, 2008, 07:43:04 PM » by still*learning

For my second child as a baby, I learned the earlier to sleep and later to wake routine. My first never slept 12 hours straight at all. This baby was put to sleep at 7 pm each night (he was so fussy he demanded it) and slept until 7 am. I could not believe it! I had read this theory with my first but was never able to implement it.

BUT I do see a lot of differences with my two children. My first has always been an earlier riser. She started sleeping later the past two years but if I give her a nap and she has slept well the night before she can not go to sleep until much later that night. My second child can sleep 12 hours at night, take an hour to two hour nap and go to bed early without much change.

I had a problem with my oldest at the beginning of the summer because we were staying up later (lighter out at night; more activities to do) and she was getting up so early! I could tell she was getting run down and exhausted. I started instituting an earlier bed time and she slept much better. Once she caught up on sleep it did not work though because she was waking earlier. My second one just goes with the flow and still slept his 12 or more hours each night.

My children are 5 and almost 3.

I am interested in getting the book that is mentioned here and I have really enjoyed this survey and thread. I am interested to learn more because I know that when my children get less sleep and get run down, they get sick so easy!

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Re: Bedtimes for children 6 and under...
« Reply #16 on: July 14, 2008, 12:11:03 AM » by panmamma

I haven't read all the posts, but living overseas, we do the Chinese time!! The fact that lights out is at 10pm for my kids just sends my neighbors into "wow that's early!!"......... The schools here, even up through highschool have at least one hour "nap" time (though they don't have to nap and depends on the strictness of teacher)...........shoot.....my dh naps. But if I nap, I won't get to sleep at night.
My boys are almost 10yr, 6 and 4yr old............ they all gave up naps about 2.5yr-3yr old. IF they napped during the day, no matter what time of day, they didn't get to sleep til midnight or later.......I don't think so.
now, i can tell if one is getting sick because they have a tendency to fall asleep in the afternoon.
Now, they have lights out about 10pm (i know....late for the American way).......but they don't wake up til 9am or later the next day. That's the joy of homeschooling. They are active, healthy and they do have their moments..............but we just do what works for us.

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Re: Bedtimes for children 6 and under...
« Reply #17 on: July 20, 2008, 06:06:20 PM » by cecac

My kids prolly don't fall asleep til 8:30 to 9:00. They awake at 7:00 AM. Her nap is usually 1:30 to 3:00 or so. I can likely try 5 days a week or something, and even if she doesn't fall asleep, I could have her lie down to rest for one hour.

I don't notice a jump in frustration, but lol, this house is kinda loud nowadays so it's real hard to tell.

It's probably true that I shouldn't push the bedtime past 8 PM.

Thank you Yooper!! Kiss