Training Older Children to Sleep Through the Night

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Training Older Children to Sleep Through the Night
« on: September 27, 2006, 12:46:18 PM » by vinniesgirl

Do any of you Super Moms out there have any tricks up your sleeves for getting your kids to sleep through the night? I have a 3 1/2yr, 2, and 7 mo and I am getting used to the sleep deprivation. I realize this is a part of parenthood, but last night my longest stretch of sleep was 45 minutes! Its not always this bad but every night I am up numerous times between all 3 and I know they will grow out of it. My baby I expect to be up with at some point in the night, but what about older toddlers? Has anyone had any tactics (besides TIME) that helped?
-Sleepless in Oregon

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Re: Training Older Children to Sleep Through the Night
« Reply #1 on: September 27, 2006, 10:15:59 PM » by Helen

you poor thing!!!!!!!!!!! I dont have much experiance, but I will definatly pray for you! I have always trained my only child from day 1 to go to sleep by himself, by just laying him in the crib awake, I often rocked him also, but layed him away often enough that it kept him used to it, I had no idea how it felt to be sleep deprived untill he got whooping cough at 6 mo old, at 9 mo i retrained him to sleep well, I just let him cry, he cried for a whole hour, then he laid down and went to sleep, from then on we had almost no trouble, to this day he sleeps all night except for sometimes in the morning he comes to our bed untill hubby gets up. Remember you are bigger than your children!!!

« Last Edit: November 28, 2008, 10:34:04 AM by Helen »
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Re: Training Older Children to Sleep Through the Night
« Reply #2 on: September 27, 2006, 11:46:01 PM » by KatieMac

Ever since I have been putting my 3 1/2 year old son and my 19 month old son to bed together in the double bed they have slept all night long. Neither of them wake up until the morning. I never would have beleived it, because the 3 year old was sleep trained but a chronic night waker and the 19 month old would NEVER voluntarily sleep in the crib, you'd have to sneak him in while asleep. If you'd try to put him in awake he'd scream for hours and vomit.

They have a bedtime routine with daddy and then my 3 year old wants me to say goodnight. If I try to talk to the 19 month old he barks "I'm sweeping!"

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Re: Training Older Children to Sleep Through the Night
« Reply #3 on: September 27, 2006, 11:55:12 PM » by healthybratt

Quote from: KatieMac on September 27, 2006, 11:46:01 PM

They have a bedtime routine with daddy and then my 3 year old wants me to say goodnight. If I try to talk to the 19 month old he barks "I'm sweeping!"

ROTFL.

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Re: Training Older Children to Sleep Through the Night
« Reply #4 on: September 28, 2006, 01:06:51 AM » by vinniesgirl

Quote from: KatieMac on September 27, 2006, 11:46:01 PM

Ever since I have been putting my 3 1/2 year old son and my 19 month old son to bed together in the double bed they have slept all night long.

Ack! I've tried that one! They have been sharing a bed for a few months now and it seemed to help at first but not lately....

Quote from: Helen on September 27, 2006, 10:15:59 PM

!! my mom never let us drink much water in the eveing. good luck......................

I will have to work at that one and see if that helps. Unfortunately, due to the fact that I worked until a year ago, my kids are bottle babies (Argh!) My oldest would still have one if we let her. She tries telling me she is one year old so she needs one. She still uses a sippy cup though. My husband stopped me from weaning her off the bottle over a year ago because it was her only "security". I am hoping to totally bypass the bottle on my 2006 model!

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Re: Training Older Children to Sleep Through the Night
« Reply #5 on: September 28, 2006, 11:43:26 AM » by ShabbyChic

Can you send them to Grandma's House so you can at least catch up? or

Tucker them out and play HARD during the day. Exhaust them. Send them out to plow the back 40. Grin

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Re: Training Older Children to Sleep Through the Night
« Reply #6 on: September 28, 2006, 12:48:58 PM » by bighornbound

I have had alot of people tell me how wonderful the book Baby Wise is by the Ozzo'S(?not sure on sp.) It would maybe not help with the older children but with the baby. They do have some other books to- i guess they also wrote a series called Growing Kids God's Way - q

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Re: Training Older Children to Sleep Through the Night
« Reply #7 on: September 28, 2006, 01:16:39 PM » by his.silly.wife

I've used the method outline in Babywise by Ezzo, but haven't used his other material. I like routine, so I found that to be a big blessing.

I've read parts of his other books, not all, I based most of my opinion on what I saw in a friend's family who was very pro-Ezzo. The main example is, her son's love language is the act of giving. Her toddler son was permitted to pick up everything and anything and give it to Mommy. I'm fine with toys, but there was no training to not touch breakable figurines, lest she should crush his spirit by not allowing him to give gifts. Gut-feeling to me was that was wrong. So maybe I just had a bad intro to the rest of the Ezzo philosophy. She has now labelled him as strong-willed. I also have other friends that live in fear of stifling their children's personality, and they have also gone through the Ezzo course. It might work wonders in some families, not all families are the same. Just didn't look like it was right for mine.

Here's a NGJ article that you might want to consider.
<a href="http://www.nogreaterjoy.org/index.php?id=48&tx_ttnews[swords]=sleep&tx_ttnews[pointer]=2&tx_ttnews[tt_news]=92&tx_ttnews[backPid]=118&cHash=37ee31adbe">How Early Should I start[/url]
It mentions training to stay in bed.

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Re: Training Older Children to Sleep Through the Night
« Reply #8 on: September 28, 2006, 03:01:01 PM » by chopchop

Have you talked about it with your DH? If he feels that it is a training issue, he might help you out for a night or two like mine did. When daddy shows up, with little switch in hand, in the middle of the night, it is somehow different than compassionate mommy. I admit that I felt bad for my kids but it did work wonders. For over a year now, only get up now during times of sickness. Cheesy

We occasionally every few months have a little spell, met by daddy.

My kids all sleep in the same room. 4, 3, & 2 years. Hope that helps! In the mean time, try to get a nap so that you don't go crazy. Or like my brother says, become "sleep depraved"

. Best wishes!

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Re: Training Older Children to Sleep Through the Night
« Reply #9 on: September 28, 2006, 05:42:26 PM » by Helen

Quote from: ps100vs5 on September 28, 2006, 01:16:39 PM

I know what you mean, I also got my routine from his babywise book, but felt like the rest of his matetiral was sometimes too harsh or too self serving for baby, the only thing i liked was the eat, awake, sleep routine, because it really helped me get lots of sleep! but i am also very leary about the rest of his philopsy.

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Re: Training Older Children to Sleep Through the Night
« Reply #10 on: September 28, 2006, 07:22:14 PM » by herbalmama

I wouldnt put too much stock in Ezzo as his method has been linked to failure to thrive in babies and even infant death.Little babies are meant to be nursed often as breastmilk is digested within an hour and a half .That is just my little rant ,sorry.As for getting your older children to sleep through the night, in our house our children are 7,4,1,and 2mo,sleeping through the nught or at least lying quietly in bed for the whole night without waking others up(except for illness) is not an option for the children once they are about 1 1/2 yrs old .With ours it only took about two nights each time the child reached that age ,of letting them cry themselves to sleep and a firm "it is nighttime you need to sleep " every 30 minutes during the crying jag and blessed peacefulness.If you make it something that isnt acceptable they will soon be sleeping for you.As I said I think little babies should be nursed responsively though.

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Re: Training Older Children to Sleep Through the Night
« Reply #11 on: September 28, 2006, 11:18:19 PM » by vinniesgirl

You have all sure given me a lot to think about. I guess it is a good thing to sit back an evaluate every once in a while! I wish we had a back 40 to send them out to plow! We are currently apartment dwellers til hubby finishes school. I would rather be cooped up here with the kids though then having to work and have a big yard for them to play in. They don't get as much outdoor time as I would like.
We have been set in our routine now for quite a while. Kids sure thrive on normalcy.... Things went south for us last winter when my dd turned 1 and started teething and had a bad case of eczema at the same time. The eczema seemed to affect her worse at night. We now have that in check but it took a long time and we got so accustomed to her having a legitimate reason for the bad nights. I will have to dig into my switch books, as we affectionately call the Train up a child books, and remind myself who's boss. Or bossier anyway....

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Re: Training Older Children to Sleep Through the Night
« Reply #12 on: January 17, 2007, 10:04:39 AM » by happysprings5

Hey girls,
I need some advice!
My 3 year old (just recently) has not wanted to sleep at night........she HAS been sleeping thru the night after she stopped nursing...now for the past 3 mnths or so this is what she does.........wakes between 8 and 9 am........homeschool day....usually filled with lots of PLAY & hard work......(my children are 8, 6 and 3) then usually a nap around 2pm and no longer than 1-2 hours.....then she is WIDE awake till 11pm or later (this is the case even without the nap!)...she is not crying or sick, just wide awake...talking, singing, more rocking her! Even if we put her in her bed and she passes out around midnight, she wakes around 3-4 am and gets in our bed and is wide awake again........IS IT "NORMAL" for a child to be wide awake in the middle of the night??? She is not unhappy or sick or anything ?!?!? Just ready to put on her dancing shoes! DH and I are TIRED! Do you think I could be feeding her something to make her have some kind of allergic reaction???
THANKS FOR any HELP!
~Wendy

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Re: Training Older Children to Sleep Through the Night
« Reply #13 on: January 17, 2007, 11:02:36 AM » by Mrs_H

Quote from: happysprings5 link=topic=4871.msg48323#msg48323 date=116

........wakes between 8 and 9 am..

[/quote

My son who is 2 1/2 never needs as much sleep as the charts say and we've tried everything! However if he woke up between 8 & 9am he would not got to bed until 11 either. If he wakes up at 6am he'll go to sleep at bedtime 8pm, if he wakes at 7;30am he'll go to sleep at 10pm!
Very different from our daughter who is 5, will go to sleep at 8pm and not wake until 8am!

I am open to any helpful tips too, but just wanted to let you know there our others out here in the same boat!! Cheesy

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Re: Training Older Children to Sleep Through the Night
« Reply #14 on: January 17, 2007, 11:10:01 AM » by blessedwithmany

Just wondering if anything changed in your lifestyle. Specifically with you and your husband. Not trying to get personal, but we experienced the same thing with our oldest when she was about the same age. We had just started a new ministry and our lives were very busy. The only time my husband and I spent time together was after she was in bed. We were given some wise counsel at that point that maybe our daughter was feeling insecure because she wasn't seeing the two of us together. So we made a point to sit down together in front of her each day for 20 minutes and talk. We called it "Coffee Time". She wasn't allowed to interrupt but she was able to be in the same room. The day we started this she slept through the night and has ever since, she is now 14. We still have our "Coffee Time" and the same rules apply with our other five children. It sounds weird, I know, but it could be something like that. Its amazing how perceptive those little ones are and their need to feel secure that daddy and mommy love each other is strong. Just a thought! Blessed

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Re: Training Older Children to Sleep Through the Night
« Reply #15 on: January 17, 2007, 12:45:35 PM » by RB

Could it possibly be food allergies ?? Our almost three year old son can't sleep well if he's had dairy products. I have a friend who's son gets very hyper if he has certain grains even if they're soaked or sprouted.
Blessing's
RB

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Re: Training Older Children to Sleep Through the Night
« Reply #16 on: January 17, 2007, 02:03:01 PM » by herbalmom

Read the I need something to knock me out cold every night thread for lots of info about getting & staying asleep. Sorry, I haven't figured out how to do links yet. HTH Blessings ~herbalmom

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Re: Training Older Children to Sleep Through the Night
« Reply #17 on: January 17, 2007, 02:18:47 PM » by mexmarr

Quote from: herbalmom on January 17, 2007, 02:03:01 PM

Read the I need something to knock me out cold every night thread for lots of info about getting & staying asleep. Sorry, I haven't figured out how to do links yet. HTH Blessings ~herbalmom

Here's the link. Hope it helps!

http://www.welltellme.com/discuss/index.php/topic,3931.0.html

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Re: Training Older Children to Sleep Through the Night
« Reply #18 on: January 17, 2007, 04:15:15 PM » by quicksilver

Removing a night light (if you have one) may help as a lit room can impede the body's development of melatonin, necessary for sleep. If she comes to your bed, she cannot stay there as this may be her motivation for getting up. Wink

Worst case scenerio, you may give her 1/2 to 1 mg Melatonin 30 minutes before bedtime but do not do this for an extended period of time and only as means to determine if lack of Melatonin is the source of her insomnia.

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Re: Training Older Children to Sleep Through the Night
« Reply #19 on: January 17, 2007, 04:21:56 PM » by ShabbyChic

Maybe it's time for the afternoon nap to go? Or maybe wake her up earlier (if you can stand it!) and put her down for the nap earlier? Also, my son has been guilty of wanting to stretch out the winding down process when he wants to spend more time with Daddy if Daddy has been busier. (Daddy puts him to bed.) Also, are you giving too much fruit, fruit juice, or hidden sugars?

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Re: Training Older Children to Sleep Through the Night
« Reply #20 on: January 17, 2007, 06:34:48 PM » by mommie

My two babies have been horrilbe sleepers...My son is 2 and still will wake up in the middle of the night. I like to say that they are just too intelligent to sleep Wink

Now that is NOT an insult to you mothers who have children who sleep like they are suppose to...its just a way for us mothers who have kids who DON'T sleep or DON'T like to sleep to cope with it!

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Re: Training Older Children to Sleep Through the Night
« Reply #21 on: January 18, 2007, 12:58:51 AM » by happysprings5

You know....you girls are GREAT!
THANKS for all the wonderful ideas & replies!
It has been crazy around here lately......we are in the middle of a "mini" remodel (replacing our carpet w/ hard woods)....so I think she could need extra time with me & my DH~ her Daddy!!! great idea on coffee time...I like that!
Also......as hard as it may be, naps may have to go......how SAD that will be! LOL!
And a milk allergy......I am going to log when she has milk before bed and see if that triggers these night parties!
I still like the idea that she is just to smart to sleep!!!LOL!!
THANKS AGAIN ya'll.......I'll keep you posted!!!!! PRAYING for sleep tonight!!!!!!
blessings~
Wendy

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Re: Training Older Children to Sleep Through the Night
« Reply #22 on: January 18, 2007, 12:12:34 PM » by mommie

you can do "rest time " during the day where she has to play quietly in her room till the timer goes off so you still get some quiet time around the house...i plan on doing that till my kids are moved out of the house!!

they are only 2 and 6 mo right now though so we still do naps!!! ptl

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Re: Training Older Children to Sleep Through the Night
« Reply #23 on: January 18, 2007, 01:00:26 PM » by SC

Part of childhood development is learning how to put yourself back to sleep. We all wake occasionally during the night. Often, we just don't remember it because we have developed the skills we need to go back to sleep.

The problem isn't her wakefullness, but the fact that (A) she doesn't know when it is time to get up and/or (B) she doesn't know how to get back to sleep once she is awake.

One of the BIG problems a lot of parents have is allowing their children to learn how to put themselves to sleep. This is one of those things you learn by doing. If a child has someone that will come to them at every noise, he/she learns that something awful must be taking place that he/she cannot handle without mom or dad. So, a fear develops that requires a parent's presence instead of letting the child work things out and go back to sleep (I'm not talking about a cry of pain or fear here, just a normal mad/lonely/'I-don't-want-to-be-in-here" type of cry).

I cannot force my children to sleep, but I can train them to stay in their room and on their bed the required amount of time. A nice alarm clock set at "get up" time is a nice addition to a toddler's room. He/she can then know whether or not it is time to come and snuggle with Mama & Daddy.

My 3 year old decided that he liked getting back out of bed for a while. By the time he had climbed out of bed, opened his door, wandered down the hall and saw me, he was having a hard time connecting a swat with his transgression. I knew the training wasn't working because the scenario repeated itself.

So, I tried this. It may work for you. I turned off all noisemakers and got busy doing something where I was standing (folding clothes, cleaning, etc.). I listened for the bedroom door and the pit pat of feet coming down the hallway. I took off in a run towards the startled toddler, took his hand and said, "Hurry!" He ran with me all of the way back to his bed. As he climbed back in, it occurred to him that this was NOT what he wanted. The lip came out, and the whine began -- but by that time, I had run out of the room.

We did this about 3 or 4 times. My husband already knows I'm crazy, so he was just enjoying the show. Grin

After the first time, I didn't say anything to him. Not talking is important. Little ones will negotiate and whine if it will buy them time. This must be immediate and fast without discussion. I just swooped towards him, took his hand and hurried towards the bed. The little guy got the message and finally just settled down because he knew this nutty woman was just going to literally run him back to bed.

HTH

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Re: Training Older Children to Sleep Through the Night
« Reply #24 on: January 18, 2007, 06:18:44 PM » by healthybratt

Quote from: SC on January 18, 2007, 01:00:26 PM

Definitely. I think this might be a contributor to insomnia in adults, but this is just my opinion. Roll Eyes

Quote from: SC on January 18, 2007, 01:00:26 PM

Very creative. I love, love, love it. LOL Grin

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Re: Training Older Children to Sleep Through the Night
« Reply #25 on: March 08, 2007, 12:53:18 PM » by Kymdenise

My one year old won't sleep more than 2 hours at a time at night. I still breast feed her at night (she gets a bottle during the day, and then cups..going back to work!).. I'm wondering if i just need to completely wean her. My dr. told me to give her 1/2 tsp of benadryl everynight for a week to try to get her in the habit.. Ummm. no good.. We slept for a week, but without it, we're back to up all night. Is she just too young to be sleep training? What should I do? Oh, and she goes to bed just fine, it's like she can't transition in her sleep stages.

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Re: Training Older Children to Sleep Through the Night
« Reply #26 on: March 08, 2007, 02:40:31 PM » by floydian

Quote from: herbalmama on September 28, 2006, 07:22:14 PM

I have a cousin that helps with their material. They have changed their baby stuff so that it is not so strict anymore. They suggest nursing a baby much more often now. Still don't agree with everything they teach. I do like some things they teach in the toddler series such as ordering your toddler's day. That has helped us with homeschooling our older children. Blanket time has really helped when we have had to go places and take smaller children.
Back to the question. We have offered water in a sippy cup for little ones who wanted to nurse in the middle of the night. Somehow waking up for water just wasn't as pleasant as waking up to nurse. They soon decided it wasn't worth it and went back to sleep if they woke up. I've had some great sleepers and some that woke up during the night. After about 6 mos, all they get is water. Usually it takes only a night or two. Of course I am usually in a sleep deprived fog for those couple of days. It helps remembering that this time isn't forever.

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Re: Training Older Children to Sleep Through the Night
« Reply #27 on: March 08, 2007, 03:52:08 PM » by Naomismama

When my daughter was born I got a lot of advice from people. Mostly people telling me to make her cry it out because she was trying to manipulate me or let her cry because she has to learn who's boss. I prayed and sought the Lord and He brought the brought me to this verse:
Isaiah 66:12-13 "For thus saith the LORD, Behold, I will extend peace to her like a river, and the glory of the Gentiles like a flowing stream: then shall ye suck, ye shall be borne upon her sides, and be dandled upon her knees. As one whom his mother comforteth, so will I comfort you; and ye shall be comforted in Jerusalem."
I never let her cry after that. I started making slings and put her in bed with me. We are all happy and I know it's the right thing because it feels right. Letting her cry never felt right to me. I couldn't imagine doing it any other way now!
I think every kid is different and has different needs. Most of my friends do things just like we do but some of thier kids sleep well, some didn't until after 2 or 3. My daughter still nurses at night and she's 15 months old. It's pretty frequent when she gets teeth in. I guess my husband and I see this stage of her life as a "mercy" stage. She is trained not to touch things,to come to mama and papa, and other things, but she is allowed to be a baby and nurse when she needs to and get held when she wants to be held. I don't see those things as a discipline issue, she's too young still. But like I said, every kid is different. I just think some people are so strict with their little ones in the wrong areas. Just my thoughts...

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Re: Training Older Children to Sleep Through the Night
« Reply #28 on: March 08, 2007, 04:10:12 PM » by Kymdenise

That was totally refreshing. I thank you for that post. ... Now that I'm weaning her during the day (and it's gone fine in that respect) I'll relax and enjoy that time with her at night.. I guess if I think about it, there isn't too much time left before she's off and running with my big girls. Maybe I just needed to look at the situation from a different angle.

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Re: Training Older Children to Sleep Through the Night
« Reply #29 on: March 08, 2007, 05:23:25 PM » by Naomismama

That's how I see it too!!! I feel like these last 15 months have flown by, my baby is now walking and looks like such a big girl before you know it she'll be too big to want to nurse and cuddle with her mama... Cry