Humor at Home

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Re: Humor at Home
« Reply #1800 on: June 14, 2009, 12:20:22 AM » by rockclimber

I told my 4yo ds that we'd have to fly to another continent like Africa to see elephants that aren't in zoos. He very calmly and seriously asked, "Would we fly with a cape or a plane?"

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Re: Humor at Home
« Reply #1801 on: June 14, 2009, 09:54:16 AM » by Jade

Quote from: rockclimber on June 14, 2009, 12:20:22 AM

I told my 4yo ds that we'd have to fly to another continent like Africa to see elephants that aren't in zoos. He very calmly and seriously asked, "Would we fly with a cape or a plane?"

I vote for the cape. Wink

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Re: Humor at Home
« Reply #1802 on: June 14, 2009, 02:14:34 PM » by BettaGurl3

Quote from: Jade on June 14, 2009, 09:54:16 AM

Quote from: rockclimber on June 14, 2009, 12:20:22 AM

I told my 4yo ds that we'd have to fly to another continent like Africa to see elephants that aren't in zoos. He very calmly and seriously asked, "Would we fly with a cape or a plane?"

HAHA!

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Re: Humor at Home
« Reply #1803 on: June 14, 2009, 06:02:24 PM » by orcuttranch

Wow! This is better than Reader's Digest! I have been laughing for a while now. I have a couple to add to the mix.

My son and daughter were looking at a penny book someone gave them. They were trying to find pennies to match the years in the book. My husband found one that was a 1940 penny. He told my son to run next door to the clubhouse and find out if anyone in there was born in 1940 (we manage a mobile home park for people 55+). My son came back and said, "Dad, there WAS someone born in 1940 . . . AND THEY'RE STILL ALIVE!!!"

My nephew was sitting in church with his mom one day (almost 3 yo). His mom asked him if he wanted to give some money to Jesus. Her son looked at the usher coming up the aisle and said, "Is that Jesus?" His mom said, "No, that's not Jesus." So he turned around to the usher at the other end of the section and said, "Well, is he Jesus, then?"

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Re: Humor at Home
« Reply #1804 on: June 18, 2009, 11:34:09 AM » by all4him

on our way home from church last eve, my 4 yr old son was telling us about 2 of the little girls in church that "GOT SHOT -- FOR REAL!!!!!" also their baby sister got shot! well, I was a little alarmed that a group of little children would talk of such matters, since we dont talk about shootings and murders on a daily basis around here-- so I asked if they got shot with a gun, and he said "yea- I think"-- to which his 6 yr old sis replied-- "no, it was with a needle"!!!!! Cheesy

Obviously we dont vaccinate!

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Re: Humor at Home
« Reply #1805 on: June 18, 2009, 01:52:19 PM » by lovemybabies81

My two year old asked to wear his short-sleeved pants today. These are better known to adults as shorts! Grin

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Re: Humor at Home
« Reply #1806 on: June 18, 2009, 03:46:02 PM » by BettaGurl3

Quote from: lovemybabies81 on June 18, 2009, 01:52:19 PM

My two year old asked to wear his short-sleeved pants today. These are better known to adults as shorts! Grin

Haha! Too funny!

Quote

This is better than Reader's Digest!

Isn't that true!!!! Cheesy

Quote

lol!
-Emily

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Re: Humor at Home
« Reply #1807 on: June 18, 2009, 09:26:02 PM » by BettaGurl3

Ok, this is something we got in an email, too funny!!! We laughed our heads off. Cheesy

Quote

Children in Church

A little boy was in a relative's wedding.

As he was coming down the aisle, he would take two steps,

stop, and turn to the crowd.

While facing the crowd, he would put his hands up like claws and roar.

So it went, step, step, ROAR, step, step, ROAR, all the way down the aisle.

As you can imagine, the crowd was near tears from laughing so hard

by the time he reached the pulpit.

When asked what he was doing, the child sniffed and said,

"I was being the Ring Bear."

One Sunday in a Midwest City ,

a young child was "acting up" during the morning worship hour.

The parents did their best to maintain some sense of order in the pew

but were losing the battle.

Finally, the father picked the little fellow up

and walked sternly up the aisle on his way out.

Just before reaching the safety of the foyer,

the little one called loudly to the congregation,

"Pray for me! Pray for me!"

One particular four-year old prayed,

"And forgive us our trash baskets

as we forgive those who put trash in our baskets."

A little boy was overheard praying:

"Lord, if you can't make me a better boy, don't worry about it.

I'm having a real good time like I am."

A Sunday School teacher asked her little children, as they were on the way to church service,

"And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?"

One bright little girl replied, "Because people are sleeping."

A little boy opened the big and old family Bible with fascination,

looking at the old pages as he turned them.

Then something fell out of the Bible.

He picked it up and looked at it closely.

It was an old leaf from a tree that has been pressed in between the pages.

"Mama, look what I found," the boy called out.

"What have you got there, dear?" his mother asked.

With astonishment in the young boy's voice he answered,

"It's Adam 's suit".

The preacher was wired for sound with a lapel mike,

and as he preached, he moved briskly about the platform,

jerking the mike cord as he went.

Then he moved to one side,

getting wound up in the cord and nearly tripping before jerking it again.

After several circles and jerks,

a little girl in the third pew leaned toward her mother and whispered,

"If he gets loose, will he hurt us?"

Six-year old Angie , and her four-year old brother, Joel , were sitting together in church.

Joel giggled, sang and talked out loud.

Finally, his big sister had had enough.

"You're not supposed to talk out loud in church."

"Why? Who's going to stop me?" Joel asked.

Angie pointed to the back of the church and said,

"See those two men standing by the door?

They're hushers."

My grandson was visiting one day when he asked ,

"Grandma, do you know how you and God are alike?"

I mentally polished my halo, while I asked,

"No, how are we alike?"

"You're both old," he replied.

A ten-year old, under the tutelage of her grandmother,

was becoming quite knowledgeable about the Bible.

Then, one day, she floored her grandmother by asking,

"Which Virgin was the mother of Jesus ? The virgin Mary or the King James Virgin ?"

A Sunday school class was studying the Ten Commandments.

They were ready to discuss the last one.

The teacher asked if anyone could tell her what it was.

Susie raised her hand, stood tall, and quoted,

"Thou shall not take the covers off the neighbor's wife."

HAHAHAHA!

-Emily

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Re: Humor at Home
« Reply #1808 on: July 05, 2009, 05:53:14 PM » by Leat

While spending the last several days at the lake,some neighbor camping kids shared some of their fireworks stand goodies with my boys. They had given some snap pops to them and a while later my 3 year old went up to his Dad and asked where the little onions were. We had no idea what he was talking about Huh

until he said,"You know the little onions the kids gave me". We couldn't help but laugh! They do look like "little onions"!

Leat

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Re: Humor at Home
« Reply #1809 on: July 15, 2009, 01:24:51 PM » by orcuttranch

We were playing a game the other day with all my extended family. Each person has 5 cards with different words or phrases on them. One of the cards my daughter had was Soap Operas. She read it and then asked her cousin, "What is that? Someone who puts soap in their mouth and tries to sing?"

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Re: Humor at Home
« Reply #1810 on: July 16, 2009, 03:51:15 PM » by doggymom22

Quote from: orcuttranch on July 15, 2009, 01:24:51 PM

That's just too funny!! Grin

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Re: Humor at Home
« Reply #1811 on: July 16, 2009, 06:44:53 PM » by BettaGurl3

Quote from: doggymom22 on July 16, 2009, 03:51:15 PM

Quote from: orcuttranch on July 15, 2009, 01:24:51 PM

That's just too funny!! Grin

ROFLOL.

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Re: Humor at Home
« Reply #1812 on: February 04, 2010, 01:42:18 PM » by refreshed

We have a magnet on the fridge that gives signs that you are having a stroke and says to call 9-1-1 if you cannot follow these simple commands. I had forgotten about it and was in the kitchen this morning when my kids came in. My oldest son said, "Mom, can you smile for me?" Not an unusual request, so I did it. He went to the fridge and looked at the front. I thought he was looking at the family pictures we have on it. Then he said, "Can you raise your arms above your head?" I thought it was strange but figured I would play along, so I did. Next he said, "Can you say Eeny-Meeny-Miney-Mo?" So I did. Finally he said, "Ok. I just wanted to make sure you weren't losing any brain cells."

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Re: Humor at Home
« Reply #1813 on: March 13, 2010, 11:46:29 AM » by petrimama

I was just going over gun safety with my kids, and I asked them to identify the parts of a revolver. First, my 5yo pointed to the hammer and said, "That's the hammer. I know because it's like that Charlemagne guy." (Charlemagne's grandfather, Charles Martel was known as Charles the Hammer because he only lost one battle.) Who thinks of that when they hear the word hammer?? My husband works in construction, for crying out loud! Roll Eyes

Then I asked my 3yo if he could remember any parts and he correctly identified the trigger and the "Muslim" (muzzle.) Grin

Oh, boy. I think we need to review! LOL
~L

« Last Edit: March 13, 2010, 11:50:50 AM by petrimama »
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Re: Humor at Home
« Reply #1814 on: March 14, 2010, 04:30:14 PM » by mauimom

Our kids just participated in a pinewood derby race at our church. Our 6 year old dd obviously didn't hear it right, and called it a "dirty race". Cheesy

After winning second prize for the fastest car, she came home last night and announced that she now had to go and take a bath because she won in the dirty race! Grin

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