Health Challenged Husbands: Winning Hubby Over to a Healthier Way of Life

[MamaD]

I have shared much information with my husband about the dangers and bad effects of artificial sweeteners and he still drinks it daily, except for Sunday.  He does drink more water than he used to and eats well, but thinks diet is better because it "saves" calories.  I think I have shared just about all the statistics and potential side effects that he cares to hear , but don't want to give up trying to convince him to quit.  Any advice or shared experiences would be great!

[Simply Kristen]

http://www.welltellme.com/discuss/index.php/topic,3539.0.html

 

[healthybratt]

Don't try to convince him.  It won't work.  Instead provide him with alternatives.  I got my hubby to "almost" stop drinking sodas by introducing him to Kombucha.  It's a healthy carbonated drink with a nice tang.  My hubby now drinks about 1/8 of the soda that he used to.

[SC]

I have shared much information with my husband about the dangers and bad effects of artificial sweeteners and he still drinks it daily, except for Sunday.  He does drink more water than he used to and eats well, but thinks diet is better because it "saves" calories.  I think I have shared just about all the statistics and potential side effects that he cares to hear , but don't want to give up trying to convince him to quit.  Any advice or shared experiences would be great!

Congratulations, you've married a man that will not be nagged or manipulated. He's a REAL man! Just like mine  . That's the good news.

The bad news is that by "sharing" so much information with him, unasked, you've probably given him reason to dig in his heels and prove that he won't be swayed.

The good news is that the easiest way to end a tug of war is to put down the rope. You set the example. Stop the eye rolling (I know, I used to use those same tactics) and raised eyebrows. Quit trying to convince him that it is a choice between the "right" way and the "wrong" way. When he sees the difference in your wellbeing (and isn't pressured), he may decide to try it.

Also, I would look into making some fizzy drinks with kefir and kombucha. They really are delicious and they are health drinks. Even if he doesn't drink them, you'll benefit. My kids LOVE them.

And, if he never changes, dropping the subject will make your remaining years much more sweet, with more laughter, love and joy.

[MamaD]

SC, Wow....OK, OK  I'll put down my rope.  You definitely helped me see what I am doing at least in attitude.  I am so thankful that I have a real man and he definitely does not want to be told what he "can" do.  I can see now that what I have said even if in a sweet way is still nagging.  He is a great guy and I do want the best for him .  We have smoothies everyday for lunch, made with Lifeway Kefir.  I am not quite ready to make my own kefir or kombucha, but I am reading along to get all the tips as they are posted here. I am learning so much here.

Thanks for the help ladies!

[PMESguy]

Well, I my opinion you should support your husband in whatever choices he makes. He doesn't knowingly/on purpose make bad decisions does he? If not, then it sounds like he just doesn't know better.

Everyone learns at their own speeds. Some people are jump start learners and are easly swayed with facts. If he's this type, then a little knowlege can go a long way. All it took for one of my clients was when I shared with her that aspartame seperates into methanol (wood grain alcohol) and formeldahyde (embalming fluid) at 102 degrees F. That was it for her!! Has never taken a sip since.

Others change very slowly. The most important duty on your part, in my opinion, is to hold them accountable for their actions. Don't play into their weaknesses....because that may just be how they have gotten to where they are now. Empower and support him. Balance emotion and logic to turn them on. If he truely has a death wish, then that has nothing to do with you....I'm sorry to say.

Rather than killing the addiction, maybe he could switch to something else instead. Try water, it's cheaper and harmless.

Which ever route you take, good luck.

[oneblessedwoman]

My husband hates all vegetables.  I want him to enjoy what I cook for him, but I would also like to find some way to get some more of those nutrients into his diet.  He would love to just live off pizza  , but he has been willing to try new things.  Together we have found some other things that he likes, some of which have veggies in them, but straight veggie recipes that he likes right now are basically non-existent.  When I make pot roast or pork chops or steaks, I don't have any way to get veggies into the meal.   

He is allergic to legumes, so beans or peas are out of the question.  He doesn't like anything raw, so I have to find some recipes to cook them in a way that taste good to him.  I would love some help if anyone else has found ways to cook for someone that really doesn't like veggies.  I can't wait to hear your ideas 

[SC]

Get every vegetable that you wish he would eat and place them in a large stock pot. Add filtered water and 1 or 2 tbsp of apple cider vinegar. Let this sit for 30 minutes and then bring to a boil for 20 minutes. Remove from the heat and reserve the liquid. Cook his rice, potatoes, and any meats with this broth. Find a way to make a favorite soup or stew with it. Add it to anything that requires water when cooking.

I also add finely chopped vegetables to things like meatloaf, spaghetti, etc.

My dh used to hate salads as he found them too leafy and slimey. I eliminated the tomatoes and found a large variety of greens and then chopped them up to fork sized pieces. Then I figured out what his tastes were in salad dressing. He likes something creamy and a little sweet. So, I started making my own ranch dressing with a little stevia, homemade mayonnaise, kefir & etc. I would give him a very small portion at first -- so that it would look silly to complain over a forkful of salad with his meat. As he found the dressing tastey, he would go back and get seconds. Also, who says that salad can't have meat? Add some shredded chicken or minced steak to the mix and you'll have a more 'manly' dish that dh may just take a liking to.

HTH

[healthybratt]

Also, who says that salad can't have meat? Add some shredded chicken or minced steak to the mix and you'll have a more 'manly' dish that dh may just take a liking to.

HTH

Chicken Ceasar salad is the BOMB!

[Melie]

I'm lucky, my husband loves veggies.  He didn't used to because his mom used to steam everything until it was soggy and he only wanted veggies with sour cream on them.  I know not to let his veggies get soft and he is happy.  One thing I do though, just to get more in, is most the time when I make any ground meat dish I finely chop all sorts of veggies and just mix them right in with the meat and continue on with the recipe.  This also stretches out the meat.  Veggies that work good with this are carrots, zucchini, red peppers, onions, garlice, lots more.  I think it tastes better and kids (and some husbands ) are more likely to eat them because they are so small you either don't notice them or won't bother to pick them out.  I'm talking about dicing really small or grating when possible.
The other way to make awesome veggies that I think anyone would like is to roast them.  Just chop them up, mix with olive oil/butter, salt and pepper.  Roast at 450 until tender.  I love sweet potatoes, regular potatoes, red peppers, onions, garlic, carrots, turnips, parsnips, and many more mixed up and prepared this way.  It is my favorite way to make veggies.  Whatever you make ends up reminiscent of french fries, how can you go wrong with that???

[mxmom]

Also, who says that salad can't have meat? Add some shredded chicken or minced steak to the mix and you'll have a more 'manly' dish that dh may just take a liking to.

HTH

Chicken Ceasar salad is the BOMB!

Even better when the chicken is Cajun!!

[leslieincali]

My whole family is more likely to eat veggies, cooked or salad if they are chopped up REAL small. I use kitchen shears to cut things up. Also, they like veggies a whole lot better if I stir fry them instead of steaming. For tomatoes in salads I always seed them and chop them up into a small dice. It cuts way down on the slime factor.

[PMESguy]

Has he ever tasted a real, farm fresh tomato? How about a carrot?

Have you ever qustioned why he doesn't like them? Could it be that the vegetables he's tried actually did taste bad?? I'm sorry, but to me conventional produce is just aweful. No flavor what so ever. Blah!!!  Complete waste of time and $$$.

I'd be willing to bet that if he got his hands on some high quality, fresh from the garden goodies....combined with a little tough love....he'd come around.

Also, he doesn't HAVE to eat any vegetables. But, he might want to make sure he has really good health insurance because the cancer risk for men in the US is currently 50%!!!!!!!! That means he will get it, or he won't.

When Big Pharma goes looking for the next greatest cancer cure, I'd put pretty good odds on them making a discovery in a vegetable/plant of all things. Ironic, huh?? Again, tough love.

[hjm]

My husband dislikes vegetables also.  When we first married he would eat none.  Now he eats some.  He told me that he did not like any veggetable but then I found there were a couple he did O.K. with. (green beans and corn) and he liked minestrone with lots of meat.  When I cooked a meal with no veggetables in it, I used one of these on the side. 

I serve a lot of soups in the winter.  I first started by including a few vegetables when I made the broth then removing them before adding meat, onions, and potatoes.  After he got used to that, I started blending some of the vegetables and adding them to the soup.  He now eats a vegetables more.  He wants our children to eat vegetables and he sees the importance of them.  If he doesn't want any at a meal he is quiet about not eating them and so far our children haven't noticed.  For the children, I often serve lots of vegetables at a meal when my husband is not there.

I did not press the issue.  He needs to be the head in our family not me, but I can talk to his head and ask for advise.  The LORD has answered in some surprising ways.  A friend of his became very ill and started eating veggetables more and mentioning there benefits to my husband.  He received a some emails from another acquaintance giving statistics on, cancer, heart disease, and other illnesses that can be helped or cured by diet.  His desire to take care of his family has prompted him to eat things that he used to not like. 

Don't expect change overnight.  Ask the LORD for advise.  Be quiet and smile whether he eats the vegetables or not!

hjm

[oneblessedwoman]

Wow!  These are awesome ideas.     We don't have kids yet, so I don't have to worry about appearances to them at all.  My husband grew up eating veggies that came right out of the family garden, so I know that he has had good produce.  So at least those things make life a little easier.

 I will certainly try these ideas.  I really like the idea of boiling a bunch of veggies and using the water.  The best ways I have found to get nutrients into my husband's diet is when he has no idea they are present    I thankful for brown rice, whole grain pasta, and alfalfa mixed in with things.  Thanks so much for all the help.  I really appreciate all the ideas you have.

[makingchanges]

Thanks for the ideas. It is discouraging to cook and try to be healthy and for your husband to not eat it. I pray that change is in the future. God can bring circumstances to bring changes.

[Sunshine06]

These ideas are great. My husband also doesn't like veggies. He'll eat lettuce, cucumbers and corn, but that's about it. He will eat carrots, celery and onions in soup, but that's all I've tried so far. I've also tried boiling veggies in water and using the broth in foods he will eat (without telling him  ). I've also learned not to pressure him or "trick" him by adding veggies in without him knowing but I'm hoping that over time he'll come to see the value of them. Thanks for the great suggestions!

[hjm]

My other suggestion is to be an honest "sneak".  If he says he doesn't like and item and never wants to eat it, don't force him.  He needs to be able to trust you.  Vegetables are not the focus of your relationship, nor are they worth straining it.  If he trusts you, he will be more willing to try something with a questionable vegetable in the future.  If he feels that you are always trying to trick him into eating what he does not like, he will reject more.
hjm

[Sunshine06]

Well said, hjm. 

[makingchanges]

Yes, well said. I let my feelings get involved in the relationship. I want the cooking/veggies to be important to him too. Then I feel rejected. Thanks for the reminder. God has given us wonderful men to teach us to rely on Him and trust Him to convict our husbands.

[ShabbyChic]

How about a b vitamin supplement?  It's not best, but it's better than nothing.  Although, it may be hard to find an all natural supplement with no legume derivatives.

[oneblessedwoman]

Hmmmm, I hadn't thought of trying a supplement.  I will have to look into that idea.   

[cjanderin]

Do you make home-made pizza?  Pizza can have lots of veges and still be meaty and yummy.  Capsicum cut up small is a pretty standard vegetable on pizza and it's so good for you.
The roast veges are a good idea.  Serve wedges made of potatoes, sweet potato (kumara), pumpkin, capsicum etc.  Never use just one type of vege when making the wedges and vary what you use.  Always have one of the vegetables as one that he likes (potatoes?) and then serve them with the other vege wedges as well.  Try not serving them on a plate but in a big bowl as if you are out at a restaurant or something.  And offer some yummy toppings for the wedges.
Most guys are not so fussy that they are going to pick through their veges to pull out the bits they don't like SO LONG AS the one they don't like isn't overpowering or 'ruining' the other vegetables or meal.

I don't think adding vegetables to the meal in small amounts is being sneaky unless your husband has specifically told you NOT to put vegetables in his meal. 
If he doesn't like vegetables because he doesn't like the taste then you are simply finding a way of serving meals that he does like without having the 'bad' taste of veges. 

[oneblessedwoman]

bump  loving the ideas

[SarahK]

I have some that would refuse veggies if they could.  They really like fried potatoes so I make a pan of fried tatoz as 2/3 potatoes & 1/3 carrot, onion, &/or celery.  Probably would be healthier as raw veggies.... but not if no one eats them. 

Sarah K

[healthybratt]

My MIL makes fried sweet potatoes.    They are pretty good too and I think they have all the good stuff that carrots have

[oneblessedwoman]

So you just cut up celery or carrots and fry them?  Do you have to bread them?  That sounds good.  I bet my husband would like them better that way 

[SarahK]

So you just cut up celery or carrots and fry them?  Do you have to bread them?  That sounds good.  I bet my husband would like them better that way 

I thin slice them all about the same thickness so they cook evenly... well, you know me well enough on this...

I start out slicing them all the same and by the end of the panful it's chunks.  Fry in butter til they are done or until the vultures are circling dangerously close.  And the kids would bathe them in ketchup if I let them.

Sarah K

[here-n-there-a-little]

Just wanted to give a warning about slipping veggies in various dishes.  My mom used to do that and I HATED it!!!  I always though it made it taste disgusting. I eat vegetables now, but much prefer the vegetables 'by themselves' approach.  Maybe I was scarred as a child 

However, if veggies were chopped up VERY fine... it might be different.  I am way too lazy to try doing it fine enough to slip them in with other food, myself.  Just be careful if this approach is taken, we wouldn't want to turn our husbands off further.

My husband will not eat vegetables either except for a few.  I do appreciate some of these suggestions and look forward to trying them.

[tonysgirl]

My honey was raised on not many veggies, esp. only starchy ones like lima beans (creamed) and corn. I often make 2 veggies, something he definitely likes and something I like. The children like most anything like I do, because I make it for their lunch when he's gone, and they love it. But as time goes on, Tony is eating more of "my" veggies than his own. Just the other day he told me, "I used to think carrots were disgusting, but these are awesome!" Yeah!

Golden Carrot Coins

2 T. real butter
3/4 c. chicken broth
1 t. sugar or honey
1 t. salt
1/8 t. pepper
14 med. carrots, cut into 1/4" slices
3 T. parsley, fresh or 1 T. dried parsley
2 t. lemon juice
Melt butter. Stir in broth, honey, salt and pepper. Bring to a boil. Add carrots. Return to a boil. Reduce heat; cover and simmer 8-10 min. until carrots are crisp-tender. (NOT mushy!) Stir in parsley and lemon juice.
Yield" 6-8 servings

Amen to whoever said, fresh grown organic veggies taste so much different than the imported from who knows where stuff! If at all possible, grow your own. I still have carrots in the garden covered with hay and 6 in. snow right now. Are they ever sweet! NO chemicals either!!!!!!